Aug 8, 2016

Monday Morning Memes: GONE COUNTRY Edition





1 comment:

  1. Oh look, the Nickelback of country music is singing a song about what he's turned the once-proud genre of country music into. It must just be the sequel to that *other* song he sang about his destruction of country music, "Murder on Music Row" (basically the country version of Gun Rack's "I Killed Darnell Simmons" from Key and Peele's sketch "Rap Album Confessions"), which Jackson's braindead fans mistook as a commentary criticizing the state of modern country when it was Jackson himself that caused mainstream country to be in such a state. Besides solidifying the stereotype that country music is made for ignorant, racist, trailer-dwelling rednecks (see "It's Alright to Be a Redneck [the title tells you all you need to know], "I Still Like Bologna" [4 and a half minutes of torture that you'll never get back], "Jim and Jack and Hank" [aka Achy Breaky 3], and that stupid 9/11-exploiting song where he couldn't tell the difference between Iraq and Iran), Jackson is the father of the non-country sounds ruining mainstream country radio. "He's pop country, drum loops and slang" perfectly describes what Alan Jackson has turned country music into. Thanks to Jackson, traditional country sounds been replaced by pop, hair metal, hip-hop, and Drake style R&B, bro-country and metro-bro continue to reign on the country charts, rapper Blanco Brown currently has the number one country song, bro-country artist Kane Brown's collaboration with EDM DJ Marshmello is in the top ten on the country charts and rising, and bro-country act Florida Georgia Line's collaboration with pop singer Bebe Rexha holds the record for the longest running number one country song at 50 weeks. Although there are still good artists within the mainstream circuit (Luke Combs, Eric Church, and Chris Stapleton, to name a few), mainstream country is still for the most part a total clusterfuck. And besides all of that, Jackson has also gone and covered multiple rap songs in concert, specifically
    * Akon - Don't Matter
    * Wiz Khalifa - We Dem Boyz ( video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFOtWpul3ZY )
    * Post Malone - Psycho
    * Boney M. - Daddy Cool
    * Soulja Boy - Turn My Swag On
    * Future - Mask Off
    * Flo Rida - Whistle
    * T.I. - Whatever You Like
    * Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj - Dance (A$$)
    * Lil Wayne - Love Me
    * Drake - Make Me Proud
    * Offset - Ric Flair Drip
    * Waka Flocka Flame - Hard in da Paint
    * Shaquille O'Neal - (I Know I Got) Skillz
    * Fetty Wap - Jugg
    Calling Alan Jackson a "disgrace" to country music is an understatement. Alan Jackson is no Waylon Jennings, he's no Willie Nelson, he's no Johnny Cash, he's no David Allan Coe, he's no Marty Robbins, he's no George Strait, he's no Dwight Yoakam, he's no Sturgill Simpson, he's no Chris Stapleton, he's no Cody Jinks, he's no Tyler Childers, and he sure as hell ain't on the level of any of the 3 Hanks. Alan Jackson couldn't even be Luke Combs or Eric Church. Alan Jackson is truly the Nickelback of country music, and (like I said) the father of the pop, hair metal, hip-hop, and R&B influences, the drum loops, the bad rapping, the electronic instrumentation, etc., taking over country radio today.
    #AlanJacksonKilledCountry

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