10. Didn't know she was 17
…and a second cousin
9. Stole a bunch of batteries and Calamine lotion trying to make meth
8. Got a DUI while listening to a Brantley Gilbert (who is sober) drinking song
7. Punched a little person because "he wouldn't send a message to Santa"
6. Punched a woman in a road rage incident while driving to anger management class
5. Selling rock candy as crack at alternative school
4. Toting around homemade pipe bombs at "open carry rally"
3. Spray painted misspelled answers to remedial reading test on water tower beside the school as a cheat sheet
2. Sheep. [details redacted]
1. Keyed car of blogger who was mean to Brantley
…and a second cousin
9. Stole a bunch of batteries and Calamine lotion trying to make meth
8. Got a DUI while listening to a Brantley Gilbert (who is sober) drinking song
7. Punched a little person because "he wouldn't send a message to Santa"
6. Punched a woman in a road rage incident while driving to anger management class
5. Selling rock candy as crack at alternative school
4. Toting around homemade pipe bombs at "open carry rally"
3. Spray painted misspelled answers to remedial reading test on water tower beside the school as a cheat sheet
2. Sheep. [details redacted]
1. Keyed car of blogger who was mean to Brantley
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