Jun 28, 2017

Country Radio Program Director: "Girls are Icky"

WDIK program director Peck Johnson has some interesting opinions on why female artists aren't getting much airplay these days. This week, songs by solo female artists only comprise 6% of the top 50 and Johnson has an idea why.

"Well, to be perfectly honest, the data shows that blah blah advertisers blah format blah blah audience retention fart fart." explained Johnson. "We have research firms who've collected enough information over the years to determine that callout scores prove yada yada yada poop monkey ass."

After the "bro country" phase seemed to fade from the airwaves in recent years, many fans expected radio to become more open to female singers. Surely, letting listeners hear some great songs by badass women on a slightly more frequent basis might transition them into being more open to the plethora of great female country artists trying to make it in the business these days. With mainstream country stations across the country reporting dipping ratings, offering more options and building toward the future certainly couldn't hurt.

Mr. Johnson didn't seem to agree with that supposition. "I mean, you have to understand that this is a business." he continued. "When we survey our active listeners versus other industry terms I'm using as a smokescreen to avoid telling you the truth, blah blah hillbilly sandwich and so forth."

As well as Johnson explained the situation to us, we felt he was still leaving something out. We pressed him, and he broke.

"Okay okay," shouted Johnson. "Girls are yucky!" "Are you happy now, Mr. investigative journalist hater man?" "Girls are icky. They have those thingies on the front that make me confused. Most of these broads write or perform these deep and interesting songs that our listeners don't like because we've brainwashed them over the years to reject anything that isn't about partying in trucks and getting handjobs in a bar and whatnot." "And the girls scare me. I don't like them."

We thanked Mr. Johnson for his candidness as he left for a free lunch with someone pushing Walker Hayes' new single, which Johnson was going to add to WDIK's heavy rotation anyway.

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