When presented with the poll question “Would you support the arrest of pop-country singer Walker Hayes, singer of “Fancy Like” (aka The Applebees Song)?” a full 72% of Americans answered affirmatively. No legal basis for his being taken into custody was given, yet a strong majority of citizens would approve of his being jailed.
Walker’s song has been a mainstay on country radio since June, and television since August - featuring in ever-present Applebee’s commercials. The nearly inescapable tune paints an idyllic picture of the simple life, mentioning many name brands in the process. Some love the song, but most apparently see it as the grounds for Hayes’ incarceration.
In the comments section of our poll (which only featured that one question), we received such feedback as:
“I don’t know who that is but he has a stupid name so yes.”
“That song makes me want to pull out my ear drums with tweezers and burn them in sacrifice to Satan.”
“Hes not cuntry music like Hank and Paycheck he sucks so throw him in the pen!”
“You people are so hateful. Don’t you have friends or fun? What’s wrong with a little light hearted silliness?”
“F*** this Lego head guy. He’s worse than Garth!”
In this day of divided attentions and beliefs, one strains to find anything Americans agree on over a 45% threshold, so this result is fairly surprising. Only 32% of Americans agreed with the statement that “Clean air is good.” A slightly higher percentage, 34%, said that ‘stabbing people they disagreed with’ was immoral.
Hayes, who recently scored his first #1 hit with the ubiquitous song, said in response to this poll question, “Why would you even ask that? Who are you?” Hayes’ representation also stated: We are perplexed about why a media source with a likely axe to grind would propose such an absurd poll question. Walker Hayes has brought joy to millions with his smash hit song, and is also an upstanding citizen, husband, and father. We’ll give no further comment at this time, except WTF?”
At press time, Walker Hayes was not being investigated for any reason whatsoever, but perhaps he should be if America has a say in the matter.
Arrest? Can we move straight to execution?ReplyDelete
I'm all for cruel and unusual punishmentReplyDelete
I wasn't polled, but I am all for it, plus life in prison w/o parole simply for this Applebee songReplyDelete
ELECTRIC CHAIR!!!! FANCY LIKE IS A NIGHTMARE FROM HELL!!!!ReplyDelete
I HATE HIM TOO MUCH TO SAY NO!!!! SO YES!!!!ReplyDelete
I agree. He needs itReplyDelete
yEaH wE fAnCy LiKe “ApPlE-bEeS”ReplyDelete
Walker Hayes MeReplyDelete
Sorry for not typing in anything, I meant to say:ReplyDelete
I feel bad 4 my pig’s earsReplyDelete
6ix9ine is worse but they BOTH DESERVE IT!!!!ReplyDelete
Btw on the song Hayes makes a farting sound effect when every bass-heavy chorus comes on that represents the woman in the song about the date’s ass and objectifies women worse than Blurred Lines.ReplyDelete
It’s muffled to the max.ReplyDelete
Someone said he is underrated and someone said BTS’s success is worse. Both are wrong.ReplyDelete
He looks like a baked chickenReplyDelete
His songs be like: 💨💨ReplyDelete
ALL OF HIS SONGS EVER MADE I FACTUALLY KNOW MAKE BLURRED LINES SOUND LIKE BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY!!!!ReplyDelete