Jan 13, 2023

Luke Bryan Just Recycles New Year’s Resolutions From 2011 Again

Country superstar Luke Bryan recently dropped his handwritten New Year’s Resolutions list on Instagram, and eagle eyed followers noticed something interesting. Bryan fan Lucy Ziffle took a screenshot of the post and took the picture into Photoshop.

“I noticed something funny y’all,” she said under her post. “The whited out part behind ’2023’ was just the previous years! LOL, but we don’t care, he can keep doing the same thing every year till he retires! Luvin’ Luke!”

In her image, she added focus and contrast to the area and somehow cleaned it up enough that viewers could clearly see every year from 2011-2022 covered over. (Don’t ask us how this works; it doesn’t seem possible… and don’t go looking for it, just believe us.)

While it might be odd to use the same physical copy year after year, Luke clearly found his niche with this checklist in 2011 and stuck to it. The commitment to doing the same thing over and over and over, while predictable and safe, has been successful. 

Here’s what he had on the list.

1. Shake my ass in front of moms, daughters, and embarrassed dads at concerts

2. Wear jeans a size too small

3. Sing ONLY about college girls, trucks, love, drinking domestic beers, working, America, and deer

4. Keep teeth pearly white

5. NEVER EVER EVER say anything of importance, depth, or controversy in interviews or on social media

6. Only put out songs that are somewhat traditional sounding if the lyrics are cringe

7. Keep Farce the Music blocked on Twitter so he can’t hurt my feelings again

8. Root for them Georgia Bulldogs!

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