Man Beaten in Parking Lot for Saying Zach Bryan Only “Pretty Good”

A music influencer and blogger was assaulted this week in the parking lot of his place of employment. Jesse Lindvall of Tupelo, MS, was walking out of his office Monday afternoon, when a large group of young men and women reportedly accosted him.

The attack left Lindvall, 36, with a bloodied nose, scratches, bruises, and a hunk of hair pulled out. “I took out a couple of them before they just overwhelmed me,” said the victim. “Those 2 were women, but hey, they hit me first and they had weapons, so I don’t feel bad about it.”

The reason for the violence left police scratching their heads. “So, they beat him up because he said (popular Americana/country artist) Zach Bryan is only ‘pretty good,’” said Tupelo police chief Harold May. “Sometimes I don’t even understand what’s going on anymore.”

“That’s right,” confirmed a shaken Lindvall, “they said it was because I have a large platform - my website and social media accounts - and have repeatedly said I think Zach Bryan is just alright.” Lindvall assumed they’d tracked him down by his Instagram posts. He then relayed to us the bizarre events of the fray.

He was leaving his printing company job around 5:02 Monday afternoon, when 2 women wearing Zach Bryan t-shirts approached him at his truck. They allegedly yelled “Only pretty good, huh?? You motherf***er!!!!” before both swinging their customized tumblers at Lindvall's face. One struck him on the right cheek before he pushed one of the assailants to the ground. 

A third female attacker ran out of the bushes yelling “something in the black and blue!” and delivered a punch to his right eye. Lindvall recoiled with an elbow, unintentionally knocking out one of the first women. He then rammed another of them with the door of his Silverado, before a gang of 6-10 others, including several bearded, vaping men, descended upon him.

When he woke up, the group was gone, leaving him with a scratched cornea, bleeding face, and a bald spot. There were also several Zach Bryan stickers covering his truck. He was treated at the scene.

Police say the print company’s security camera was not in operation, so none of the offenders have been identified, but that if anyone in the public has information about the crime to contact police immediately. “I don’t think there’s a threat to the community or anything,” laughed May. “But maybe watch what you say online about Zac Brown or Bryan or whoever. These community college kids are tougher than they look.”

At press time, Lindvall was purging his online presence of any references to Zach Bryan.