Luke Bryan Just Recycles New Year’s Resolutions From 2011 Again

Country superstar Luke Bryan recently dropped his handwritten New Year’s Resolutions list on Instagram, and eagle eyed followers noticed something interesting. Bryan fan Lucy Ziffle took a screenshot of the post and took the picture into Photoshop.

“I noticed something funny y’all,” she said under her post. “The whited out part behind ’2023’ was just the previous years! LOL, but we don’t care, he can keep doing the same thing every year till he retires! Luvin’ Luke!”

In her image, she added focus and contrast to the area and somehow cleaned it up enough that viewers could clearly see every year from 2011-2022 covered over. (Don’t ask us how this works; it doesn’t seem possible… and don’t go looking for it, just believe us.)

While it might be odd to use the same physical copy year after year, Luke clearly found his niche with this checklist in 2011 and stuck to it. The commitment to doing the same thing over and over and over, while predictable and safe, has been successful. 

Here’s what he had on the list.

1. Shake my ass in front of moms, daughters, and embarrassed dads at concerts

2. Wear jeans a size too small

3. Sing ONLY about college girls, trucks, love, drinking domestic beers, working, America, and deer

4. Keep teeth pearly white

5. NEVER EVER EVER say anything of importance, depth, or controversy in interviews or on social media

6. Only put out songs that are somewhat traditional sounding if the lyrics are cringe

7. Keep Farce the Music blocked on Twitter so he can’t hurt my feelings again

8. Root for them Georgia Bulldogs!

Luke Bryan Shares Actual Political Thought

With 2018's big election day here, the normally politically reserved Luke Bryan finally spoke out. He posted the following statement on his Instagram account:

"Hey uh, y'all. Today is election day! If uh, y'all ain't felons and are 18, please get out there and exercise your right to vote today! If that's cool, you know. You also have to right not to vote too [sic]. That is equally as valid an option, unless you think it isn't. If you're offended by either of those options, please just skip over this post and go listen to my music. If you do vote, I won't tell you who to vote for or nothing. Just use your heart and mind and y'all pick the best man or woman or other person who you best feel lines up with your beliefs. I hope this didn't offend anybody. Please still like me."

The completely innocuous post gave no particular insights into Bryan's political affiliations or beliefs. It also placed no preference on voting or abstaining. Despite the unbiased and overly apologetic IG post, the comment section, of course, became a battleground full of venom and poor grammar. 

@lauraleekk436 replied: "You done it now and got political! I just comes here to see pitchers of you're butt in jeans and to fine out when you're next concerts is. I'm done with you now! Shut UP and sing! #kanebrownisbetter"

@lukesprintsess stated: "Don't forget about pizza gate and the emails and contrails when you vote today! Soros sucks! #maga"

@givesocialismachance said: "Maybe if you haven't done your research about the history of this country and all the lives America has destroyed, you shouldn't suggest that people vote. I imagine many of your fans are Trump supporters too, so it is very irresponsible for you to suggest they vote. You are complicit in the destruction of the world and the continued othering of oppressed populations if there's a red wave. I, in good conscience, cannot listen to your music anymore."

After a few hours of comments full of foul, misspelled, hateful screaming into the void, the post was removed, leaving us to again wonder if Luke Bryan has any actual opinions that don't relate to cutoff jeans, text messages, and beer on truck beds. The world may never know.