An anonymous source sent me the lyrics for the lead single on Chuck Wicks' second album, due in November. Enjoy!
TMB
©2009 (not actually written by) Jimmy Wayne and Jay DeMarcus
v1
I was so lost
Until you came until my world
The waves, they tossed
Until you quieted the storm, girl
I was a fool
But then again I'm just a man
This is for you
So put out your sweet little hand
Chorus
Here, take my balls
I don't need 'em anymore
Wrap them in silk and keep 'em in your dresser drawer
You saved my life
So it's the least that I can do
Yeah, take my balls and I'll always sing this sweet for you
v2
I'll rub your feet
Unless you want me to fold clothes
Tell me your dreams
I'll flush mine down the commode
Girl, listen here
I'm done with sports and cigarettes
No drinkin' beer
Let's just hold hands, cause who needs sex?
(Repeat Chorus)
Bridge
Your love is the greatest thing I have ever known
Steal away my heart and my testosterone
Oh take my balls
I don't need 'em anymore
No baby, I don't want to know the Dallas Cowboys score
You are my life
So I'll watch Lifetime shows with you
Yeah, take my balls and sure, I'd love to have more tofu
Showing posts with label Original Lyrics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Original Lyrics. Show all posts
May 5, 2009
Chuck Wicks Exclusive!
Labels:
Chuck Wicks,
Original Lyrics,
Satire
Mar 13, 2009
The Name Dropping Song
Cashed My Paycheck (The Name Dropping Song)
I cashed my Paycheck for a few measly Bucks
Drove down to Miller's in my Red Ford truck
Feelin' Tucker-ed out, Haggard to the bone
I had a Hank'rin' for some ol' Daniels Black
Said Parton me, wontcha please fill'er up, Mac
I was in-Cline-d to satisfy my Jones
Chorus
Cashed in my Paycheck
to spend some Jacksons Tilli(t)s light
Cashed in my Paycheck
and went Waylon Friday night
Stewed to the Gill-s, I wasn't feelin' too Wells
Ol' Webb called me a Patsy, I said "Coe to hell"
Then I felt Bare knuckles Strait 'side my head
He hurt my Pride so I had to Yoakam fast
Ain't as Young as I was, but I Toby'd his ass
Flatt on his back, I sipped Lonestar as he bled
Cashed in my Paycheck
to spend some Jacksons Tillis light
Cashed in my Paycheck
and went Waylon Friday night
Bridge
Cops were on the way, Willie offered a ride
But first I had to tell some friends goodbye
Bye Joe and Martina, So long Brooks and Lynn
Bye Ray, bye Reba, see ya later Tim
(Repeat Chorus)
©2007 Corey Parkman
I cashed my Paycheck for a few measly Bucks
Drove down to Miller's in my Red Ford truck
Feelin' Tucker-ed out, Haggard to the bone
I had a Hank'rin' for some ol' Daniels Black
Said Parton me, wontcha please fill'er up, Mac
I was in-Cline-d to satisfy my Jones
Chorus
Cashed in my Paycheck
to spend some Jacksons Tilli(t)s light
Cashed in my Paycheck
and went Waylon Friday night
Stewed to the Gill-s, I wasn't feelin' too Wells
Ol' Webb called me a Patsy, I said "Coe to hell"
Then I felt Bare knuckles Strait 'side my head
He hurt my Pride so I had to Yoakam fast
Ain't as Young as I was, but I Toby'd his ass
Flatt on his back, I sipped Lonestar as he bled
Cashed in my Paycheck
to spend some Jacksons Tillis light
Cashed in my Paycheck
and went Waylon Friday night
Bridge
Cops were on the way, Willie offered a ride
But first I had to tell some friends goodbye
Bye Joe and Martina, So long Brooks and Lynn
Bye Ray, bye Reba, see ya later Tim
(Repeat Chorus)
©2007 Corey Parkman
Labels:
Original Lyrics,
Satire
Feb 28, 2009
Britches and Hoes
As a companion piece to one of the t-shirt slogans I posted yesterday, this is a silly hick-hop? ditty I wrote the lyrics for and my buddy Bret Bingham wrote the music for and performed on. Eat your heart out, Cowboy Troy. Despite the title, this contains no foul language.
Labels:
hick-hop,
Original Lyrics,
Songs
Feb 9, 2009
Countrier Than Thou
Here's a satirical song lyric I wrote a couple of years ago during a particularly overdone round of "country pride" songs on the Nashville charts... Now, with seemingly dozens more country pride songs on the charts and iTunes, as bemoaned on many replies to Country California's recent Questionnaire, it's as timely as ever.
Countrier Than Thou
Backwoods anthems on the radio
Every neck's redder than the one befo'
It's all Skynyrd and pickup trucks
Drinkin, fishin and patriotism
Well boys, if this thing's a competition
I reckon ya'll should just give up
Chorus
Cause I'm countrier than thou, so much countrier than thou
I was born with a plug of Redman in my mouth
Pledge allegiance to the flag, but salute the South
You gotta turn off the rural route to find my house
I'm that much countrier than thou
Raised by my mama in an old deer stand
Built my own pickup with my two bare hands
Wear a cap and a cowboy hat
I'd fight any man but Jesus Christ
Been shot three times and born again twice
I'd like to hear ya'll top that
Hell, I'm countrier than thou, so much countrier than thou
We got a gravel road for Main Street in my hometown
Pledge allegiance to the flag, but salute the South
You gotta turn off the rural route to find my house
I'm that much countrier than thou
Bridge
Tractor, skinny dipping, beer and prison
Kiss my ass if there's anything missin'
Ain't nobody by-God country as me
So don't you never doubt my authenticity
Cause I'm countrier than thou, so much countrier than thou
I learned to drive after I learned to plow
Love to turn Cash, Jones, Cline, Strait, Alan, Hank, Hank Jr., Pride, Conway, Willie and Waylon, Merle and Loretta up real loud
You gotta pull off the rural route to find my house
I'm that much countrier than thou
Spoken tag:
I forget anything? Coe, I love me some Coe! And Skoal!
©2007 Corey Parkman
Countrier Than Thou
Backwoods anthems on the radio
Every neck's redder than the one befo'
It's all Skynyrd and pickup trucks
Drinkin, fishin and patriotism
Well boys, if this thing's a competition
I reckon ya'll should just give up
Chorus
Cause I'm countrier than thou, so much countrier than thou
I was born with a plug of Redman in my mouth
Pledge allegiance to the flag, but salute the South
You gotta turn off the rural route to find my house
I'm that much countrier than thou
Raised by my mama in an old deer stand
Built my own pickup with my two bare hands
Wear a cap and a cowboy hat
I'd fight any man but Jesus Christ
Been shot three times and born again twice
I'd like to hear ya'll top that
Hell, I'm countrier than thou, so much countrier than thou
We got a gravel road for Main Street in my hometown
Pledge allegiance to the flag, but salute the South
You gotta turn off the rural route to find my house
I'm that much countrier than thou
Bridge
Tractor, skinny dipping, beer and prison
Kiss my ass if there's anything missin'
Ain't nobody by-God country as me
So don't you never doubt my authenticity
Cause I'm countrier than thou, so much countrier than thou
I learned to drive after I learned to plow
Love to turn Cash, Jones, Cline, Strait, Alan, Hank, Hank Jr., Pride, Conway, Willie and Waylon, Merle and Loretta up real loud
You gotta pull off the rural route to find my house
I'm that much countrier than thou
Spoken tag:
I forget anything? Coe, I love me some Coe! And Skoal!
©2007 Corey Parkman
Labels:
Original Lyrics,
Satire
Dec 7, 2008
What Xmas is All About
What Xmas is All About
Neighbor was in his yard one December morn
Arranging some little dolls and a toy barn
Said it was something called a nativity scene
I just shook my head, decided to be nice
And offered him some neighborly advice
"Friend, don't you know what Christmas really means?"
Chorus
Man, it's icicle lights and inflatable elves
Hickory Farms and half price sales
And Shriners riding go-carts at the big parade downtown
It's an eggnog buzz at the office shindig
It's Rudolph, Santa and pudding figs
Just helpin' out, now you know what Christmas is all about
He just stared at me like my nose was on fire
Looked at my big sleigh suspended by wires
Asked me "Ain't you ever heard of the virgin birth?"
Said "If I want a sermon, I'll go to church"
He said "That's the reason we celebrate"
I had to laugh, but then I set him straight
Chorus 2
Cause It's a Wonderful Life and that mean ol' Grinch
It's my pants size going up an inch
It's window flocking, Christmas tree rocking and huge Walmart crowds
It's fruit cake, cookies and big shiny balls
It's getting drunk to put up with inlaws
Man get a clue, now you know what Christmas is all about
Bridge
He said "Merry Christmas" and walked away
Stuck some little baby down in the hay
He'll never learn...
That it's icicle lights and inflatable elves
Overstock dot com and half price sales
It's Santa on the firetruck at the big parade downtown
It's an eggnog buzz at the office shindig
It's Rudolph, Frosty and pudding figs
He just doesn't understand what Christmas is all about
---------
sat⋅ire
/ˈsætaɪər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sat-ahyuhr] Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
Copyright info for this lyric on this thread: http://tunesmith.net/forums/showthread.php?t=7336
Neighbor was in his yard one December morn
Arranging some little dolls and a toy barn
Said it was something called a nativity scene
I just shook my head, decided to be nice
And offered him some neighborly advice
"Friend, don't you know what Christmas really means?"
Chorus
Man, it's icicle lights and inflatable elves
Hickory Farms and half price sales
And Shriners riding go-carts at the big parade downtown
It's an eggnog buzz at the office shindig
It's Rudolph, Santa and pudding figs
Just helpin' out, now you know what Christmas is all about
He just stared at me like my nose was on fire
Looked at my big sleigh suspended by wires
Asked me "Ain't you ever heard of the virgin birth?"
Said "If I want a sermon, I'll go to church"
He said "That's the reason we celebrate"
I had to laugh, but then I set him straight
Chorus 2
Cause It's a Wonderful Life and that mean ol' Grinch
It's my pants size going up an inch
It's window flocking, Christmas tree rocking and huge Walmart crowds
It's fruit cake, cookies and big shiny balls
It's getting drunk to put up with inlaws
Man get a clue, now you know what Christmas is all about
Bridge
He said "Merry Christmas" and walked away
Stuck some little baby down in the hay
He'll never learn...
That it's icicle lights and inflatable elves
Overstock dot com and half price sales
It's Santa on the firetruck at the big parade downtown
It's an eggnog buzz at the office shindig
It's Rudolph, Frosty and pudding figs
He just doesn't understand what Christmas is all about
---------
sat⋅ire
/ˈsætaɪər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sat-ahyuhr] Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
Copyright info for this lyric on this thread: http://tunesmith.net/forums/showthread.php?t=7336
Labels:
Christmas,
Original Lyrics,
Satire
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