Rock & Hard Rock Honest Album Covers

31 Country Music Themes: 4-6

This is the second edition of a new Farce the Music series entitled "An Illustrated Guide to the 31 Most Commonly Used Thematical Elements in Contemporary Country Music Songs" (or "31 Country Music Themes" for short). This is by no means an all-inclusive documentation of all the themes used in modern commercial country music... only 99.85% of it. I will post themes two to four at a time, usually once a week, until the list is complete. I hope you enjoy, and I hope your future listening enjoyment is ruined because you try to think of the exact corresponding theme and illustration every time you hear a song on country radio!

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #11

Save your "Bluebird songs" for ... hell, don't write 'em. If it ain't broad enough to land a 757 on that sumbitch, it ain't worth the effort. Don't mess with cutesy stories, multi-syllabic rhymes... or multi-syllabic words for that matter. And complicated concepts never sold a record in Nashvegas baby. Let Gaydiohead tackle that crap. The only message I wanna convey is the one Lulu in Bessemer, Alabama wants to hear droning in the background of her puke green 1999 Nissan Quest while she's running to the Little Caesar's to pick up a nutritious supper for her three fat younguns. Always remember: KISS - Keep it simple sh*thead.

*Not actually written by John Rich.

iTunes in a perfect world...

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Consolation Prizes

For those who didn't win the contest, here are a couple of consolation prizes. Feel free to use these wonderful and expressive banners in your signature on your favorite message board or forum!

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Congrats!

The FTM 1st Annifarcery contest is over and the winners are (1st)Kelly and (2nd)CJ!!! Thanks to them and everyone else for entering and thanks for visiting the blog! This last week was the biggest in FTM history!

FF match 'em answers

Do you really need an answer key???

Free Music!

You can still enter to win free music from me if you click here. The contest ends tomorrow night at 7PM and I'll pick then alert winners after that. In the meantime, a couple of artists in my genre wheelhouse are offering free tunes for a short time. See below!

And from Owen Temple's website:

We are happy to announce that Owen's new project, Dollars and Dimes, is currently the #1 Americana record on the Euro Americana chart!

Thanks to the DJs and journalists whose votes made Dollars and Dimes the top Americana album in Europe for the month of July-

To celebrate, we are offering FREE downloads of the entire album for a week! Get a copy at http://music.owentemple.com - and click "Download Album"

Country Day: 1st Annifarcery Edition 2.0

Day 2 of FTM's double serving of Country Days... And once more don't forget to enter the contest to win free music: here Thanks to CM of Country California for the Ralph Stanley idea.

Country Day: 1st Annifarcery Edition 1.0

Don't forget there's yet another country day tomorrow! And make sure to enter to win free music here: Contest It's easy... just pick a favorite honest album cover to enter the drawing. And without further ado...

Farce the Music's 1 Year Annifarcery

One year ago today I posted 45 "honest album covers" like these (with the disclaimer that it wasn't my original idea). At the suggestion of a couple of pals on the Altcountrytab.ca message boards, I'd started the blog as kind of a gallery for my Photoshop foolishness. Since I couldn't think of a better name and there wasn't another blog by the title (and because I rarely spent too much time or effort on the covers), I just called it Photocrap. For some reason, people began to visit the blog more and more regularly in the next few days...I don't even know how people outside Altcountrytab ever discovered it honestly, but that gave me the inspiration to make it into more than a gallery and more of a ...well, blog. Over the next few months, I began mixing in lyric parodies, silly song reviews, musical satire, a name change to "Farce the Music" and other nonsense. My links to and from other blogs increased, as did my traffic and my ability to annoy various country star fan club and message board members. I've even had a few singers and songwriters sing the praises of my brand of satire, or at least my aim.

Thanks to Altcountrytab.ca for the start, thanks to The 9513 for the kickstart and thanks to CM at Country California for his ideas and support. Thanks to the other blogs and constant visitors who keep people and kind words coming my way. And thanks to you, the reader.

As a small token of my appreciation, I will give away some of my favorite tunes this week. This post will serve as the entry form and will remain on the front page of my blog through next Sunday evening at 7 PM CST. At that point, I will select 2 winners. My first selection will receive 2 albums of their choice from my Best of 2009 So Far list (note: Brad Paisley's "American Saturday Night" is also an option - it's one of my favorites but I haven't added it to the list yet). The second place finisher will receive 1 album from that list. An iTunes download is my preferred method of awarding the prizes but I will also consider an Amazon digital download, if necessary.

How to enter: Fill out the entry form on this post by 7:00 PM CST, next Sunday, July 12, telling me your favorite "honest album cover" of the past year. A second entry will be given if you answer the second question as well (but make sure you don't suggest something I've already covered). Provide me with a working email address (your email address will not be shared, sold or exploited in any way), or I'll move on to the next selection as a winner. Comments, though welcome, will not count as entries!

That's all there is to it! I know it's not much, ...being a mean ol' satire site, I don't exactly get a lot of freebies to dole out (okay, any...), but as another token of my appreciation, I will also have 2 Country Days this week... Thursday and Friday, with 28+ total covers. All the usual suspects will get theirs... Toby Keith, Carrie Underwood, Rascal Flatts, Chuck Wicks and more! Be there! And make sure to enter the contest!

Thanks!!!

Relative Size Charts: 6-8

In honor of FTM's 1st Annifarcery Celebration, here's a triple helping of Relative Size Charts. Tomorrow night's post is the first of TWO Country Days this week!!! And there are 5 more days to enter the free music contest. It's easy!

31 Country Music Themes: 1-3

This is the first post of a new Farce the Music series entitled "An Illustrated Guide to the 31 Most Commonly Used Thematical Elements in Contemporary Country Music Songs" (or "31 Country Music Themes" for short). This is by no means an all-inclusive documentation of all the themes used in modern commercial country music... only 99.85% of it. I will post themes two to four at a time, usually once a week, until the list is complete. I hope you enjoy, and I hope your future listening enjoyment is ruined because you try to think of the exact corresponding theme and illustration every time you hear a song on country radio! Oh, and don't forget to enter the free music contest!