.99 Review

This is a new feature Farce the Music will post 2-3 times a month. I'll buy a single from the featured/new section of the country genre on iTunes, post some select unedited "reviews" from iTunes buyers (The People's Take) then give my own quick, strange review (My Take) with a value rating (x/.99), plus an occasional Photocrapped single cover and a handy, dandy Hit Country Song Checklist. I suppose this will become the $1.29 Review in April when iTunes changes up their pricing, but .99 Review is catchier. Anyway, here's the first installment.

Jason Michael Carroll - Where I'm From

The People's Take
Amazing (5 Stars) - he has such a great voice and always makes the best muxic.
-twilightOBSESSED<3

Too bad for Patrick Davis (5 Stars) - Patrick Davis recorded a better version.
-J Poppadopolous

Original is better, but still solid (4 Stars) - This was originally written by a guy from South Carolina named Patrick Davis, his version is a little more raw, but has a better sound. Still a very solid song though.
-redsoxgamecock

Patrick Davis is one of the best song writers of our time (5 Stars) - ...Patrick is amazing guy and singer/songwriter. Id look for him more in the coming years...
-music madness

My Take
The performance and instrumentals are all good and well, but the lyrics... the lyrics. I very nearly yacked at least twice during this song: after the cancer revelation, my eyes watered for the wrong reason and at the bridge, I tasted ham and biscuit from breakfast. I suppose I appreciate the sentiment - I'm fond of the memories of my backwoods hometown too - but if I hear another "proud of my upbringing" song, my head may blow off. What a waste of 9.9% of my Christmas iTunes gift card. I know nothing's new under the CO2, but please. Did we need another of these? Survey says NO. At least, not when they're this cliche and contrived.

Value Rating: .28/.99






















Hit Country Song Checklist
(4 or more checks indicates a higher probability of this being a hit song)
Church
Mama
Boots
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
Love
Hometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck
Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers

If only...

Feel That Tire
(parody of Dierks Bentley's "Feel That Fire")

She wants a man to have some back
She wants the boy with a massive rack
She wants to help him dunk his Oreos

She wants to use him for bed
She wants to keep him fat and fed
N' Drive thru Taco Bell for a case of tacos

Cause she needs to feel that tire
A gut puts her in rut for sure
He's everything she wants and more
Her real desire, Is to know he'd waddle up beside her
To let her feel that tire

He wants an extra value meal
A quarter pounder go-large deal
She's makin' eyes from across a vanilla cone

She tells the cashier "It's on me"
Says "Boy, you look good enough to eat"
Hey man, she wants what she wants, and she wants to get him home

Cause she needs to feel that tire
A gut puts her in rut for sure
He's everything she wants and more
Her real desire, Is to know he'd waddle up beside her
To let her feel that tire
Yeah, grab that tire

She wants his meaty hand to hold
His plate size sweat rings thrill her soul
No, she can't wait to get lost in his rolls

Cause she needs to feel that tire
A spare that lets her know for sure
He's everything she wants and more
Her real desire, Is to know he'd waddle up beside her
To let her feel that tire

She wants a man to have some back
She wants the boy with a massive rack
She wants to laugh and share his Oreos

Welcome to Farce the Music!

Glad you stopped by! Ain't much changed but the domain. So why the name change? Put simply (which is the only way I know to put it), the name "Photocrap" is not representative of all that I do on this blog, and all I want to do. This is 90% a music blog (with a strong country bent), not a Photoshop blog, so I have felt for some time that I needed a moniker change. Don't worry! No album cover is safe from being photocrapped... that's not going to change. That will still be my calling card and the themed album cover days will continue, with at least one "Country Day" a month. "Farce the Music" opens things up though. More song parodies, more band mash-ups, more features of both the visual and verbal variety. I'm working on some ideas to make things stranger and funnier than ever. Oh yeah, "Farce the Music" is also a lot more blogroll friendly title. This is gonna be fun. I'm excited and I hope you'll stay along for the ride!

As a "Grand Opening" celebration, below you'll find a mini-Country album cover set and a parody of Rodney Atkins' "It's America" which was surely asking for it.

Mini-Country Day

Rodney Atkins Parody

That's America
(parody of Rodney Atkins "It's America")

Drivin' my Prius today
90 in the carpool lane
A big ol' billboard read
"We hope your day is blessed"
Almost bit down on my tongue
Thinkin' "Oh the nerve of some"
Imposing on me with their beliefs
Maybe I should just leave
this America

Cause
It's "nucular" bombs
A Toby Keith song
A gas guzzling Chevrolet
It's empirialism
CO2 emissions
Trips to Guantanamo Bay
It's Super Walmart
And unjust wars
One nation in decay
That's America

I drove home and hugged all my trees
Flipped on MSNBC
Then surfed for some Daily Kos news
Lookin' for the truth
Munchin' on my free range fruit
Cursin' 'bout ol' "Double-U"
Gave my Marx poster a salute
Dreamin' of a better America

Not nucular bombs
Or Toby Keith songs
Gas guzzling Chevrolets
It's empirialism
CO2 emissions
Trips to Guantanamo Bay
It's Super Walmart
And oil hungry wars
One nation in decay
That's America

It's rich screwin' poor so they can live highly
It's gun racks, car tracks and Bill O'Reilly

It's where kids have no chance
To be the president
If they're black... oh... wait

Well, it's a flag fadin' on the bumper
of a global-warming-causing Hummer

And nucular bombs
Daryl Worley songs
Gas guzzling Chevrolets
It's commercialism
Thinking Christ is risen
Anti-Mexicanism
And Guantanamo Bay
It's Super Walmart
And unjust wars
One nation in decay
That's America

Note: This blog is apolitical. We reserve the right to offend visitors on the left, middle and right.