Mar 18, 2011
YouTube Gems: Charlie Worsham
Hometown boy made good. He's opening for Taylor Swift on her upcoming tour, but I won't hold that against him. Dude's got skills.
YouTube Gems: Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears
From their fantastic new album Scandalous, here are Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears with "She's So Scandalous." RIYL: James Brown, The Rolling Stones, Lightnin' Hopkins.
Mar 17, 2011
Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist: Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
My son-in-law Jerry, a Southern Baptist, tells me that "badonkadonk" refers to the female buttocks. This song is about a bar-hopping woman's rear end? Really? Who, in their right mind, would view a voluptuous harlot as a fitting partner? I guess this appeals to the base interests inherent in the human male, but those of us who have ascended above the lusts and whims of sin find no appeal in the part of the homosapien that exists only for providing a comfortable cushion on church pews and office chairs or parting to release feces. Viewing a woman's derriere as some signifier of their worth as a marital partner is certainly of the Dark Lord. It is my belief that another demon gets it's black wings every time a man says "whoo-whee" or "Mmh!" about a nicely proportioned "badonkadonk." This part of the anatomy is not even used in the procreation of the species so it defies me why it is such an identifier of sexual attractiveness. Jerry says my daughter has an aesthetically pleasing rear end. Why he felt the need to let me know this I do not fully comprehend. Finding a job should be his primary interest, not the backside of my offspring. Anyway, Trace Adkins is a perverse individual who is only concerned with promoting immorality for financial gain. One only need hear his recent song "Brown Chicken Brown Cow," which Jerry said is a reference to deviant pornography (Jerry was not my preferred suitor for my daughter), to see that he finds no glory in the spiritual side of life. As for me, I tend to ignore my wife's rather large, veiny and cellulite-ridden backside. I keep my eyes on the Lord, for the only "booty" I care about is the crown I will wear on the streets of gold.
F
Mar 16, 2011
Sketches of SXSW Archetypes
Here's a cool post from www.softwareadvice.com that was emailed to me yesterday about the "types" that show up at South by Southwest. The remainder of the article can be read at the link at the bottom.
MUSIC
“I’m digging the vibes of this city.”
The Dirty Hippy can be spotted wandering barefoot with an ambiguously bred mutt and a djembe in tow. Easily recognizable, he sports tie-dye, hemp, and anything that says “Legalize It.” Regardless, you’ll smell him before you see him; the patchouli and body odor will hit you like a truck. The Dirty Hippy flocks to SXSW each year to hack the sack, beat the drums, and partake in the never-ending supply of free munchies. During daylight hours, the Dirty Hippy attends free art exhibits and seminars on Kombucha brewing. When the moon rises, he can be found at free-form jam seshes and Bob Marley tribute concerts. Avoid him by attending any paid event.
“This bar is sooo over.”
It’s surprising that hipsters even attend SXSW, considering how mainstream it’s become. And yet, they can be found everywhere, donning their skinny jeans, deep-V’s, black-rimmed glasses, and handlebar moustaches. He will claim to care less, but he will run you over on his vintage fixie to get to that unofficial SXSW concert. Who’s playing? You’ve never heard of them, but the Hipster’s got ‘em on vinyl. To track the Hipster, follow the trail of empty PBRs and American Spirit butts. When SXSW ends, he’ll return to the obscure East Austin dive bar from whence they came.
“Neiiiiighhh!! Hey, where ya goin’? Can I bum a cigarette?”
Rare as a unicorn and impossible to classify, this guy will make you think you’re hallucinating. His goal is to one-up all the hipsters out there by being the weirdest. He wins. Clad in jorts and a huge, brown horse mask, he can be found hula-hooping at outdoor concerts. Scribbled on his shirtless chest is one word: “PARTY.” At night, he flies his kite into the trees. WTF? If he speaks to you, he’ll be using a voice changer to ask you for a cigarette. Again, WTF? Run away before he gets naked. We kid you not, we saw this guy yesterday.
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