Aug 15, 2010

Top 10 Country Singer Alcoholic Beverages

With Martina McBride having her own signature wine, FTM thought it would be fun to imagine what alcoholic beverages other country stars might get behind.

10. Billy Gillman White Wine
Sweet and light sauvignon blanc that disappears off the shelf when it has aged 13 years.

09. Miranda Lambert's G&L Tequila
Every bottle of Miranda's handcrafted blue agave tequila is infused with gunpowder and has genuine bullet fragments in the bottom.

08. John Rich's RedRum
Warning; Consumption of this beverage may lead to intercourse with persons possibly under the legal age of consent or over-agressive tendencies towards persons of the same sex. Has been shown in laboratory testing to increase the girth of head by 5.7%.

07. Blake Shelton's BS "Ale"
Actually 100 proof bourbon, but is sold in beer cans so no one will know you're getting drunk 7 times faster than everybody else.

06. Taylor Swift Fearless Champagne
She can't have any for a few more years, but you can celebrate all your shiny awards and platinum certifications with Taylor's top shelf bubbly. Flavor is sugary but honest with no twangy aftertaste.

05. Sideman Porter
Kristian Bush's premium label porter. It's overly bitter and not very good but it comes free when you buy Jennifer Nettles' tasty Sugarland Lager.

04. Jo Dee Messina Malt Liquor
Hearty bottom of the barrel drink you used to enjoy but you're not sure why; went out of production in 2005, but the store will keep trying to sell it to you anyway.

03. George Strait "Stand There and Drink" Gin
...but don't drink too much or you might want to dance or something.

02. Johnny Cash Pina Colada Mix
So what if it doesn't fit the man in black's persona? John Carter likes 'em. Also: getting caught in the rain.

01. David Allan Coe White Label Whiskey
What'd you expect? Black label?


  1. This made me laugh :)
    That said, isn't Taylor 21 in a few months, not years? And doesn't Miranda actually have her own alcoholic beverages?

  2. Miranda Lambert does have her own signature wine. She did before anyway. It was only sold in certain states, and you can't order any because they won't the USPS won't let you mail alcoholic beverages.



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