Jun 6, 2017

Top 10 Things I'd Rather Watch Than the CMT Awards

The 2017 CMT Music Awards airs tomorrow night and features Jason Derulo and Luke Bryan,
Chris Lane, FGL & The Chainsmokers, Thomas Rhett, and lots of other bullshit like that, so...

Top 10 (Awful) Things I'd Rather Watch 
Than the CMT Music Awards

10. An old VCR tape from the late 80s where my little brother taped 
Care Bears over the last half of Headbangers' Ball

9. Chris Stapleton literally singing the entire Jackson, TN phone book

8. 3 hours of C-Span's online video archive without the aid of caffeine and if I doze off, it starts over

7. This over and over (warning: it's gross)

6. The English Patient

5. Col. Casper's entire video library
(He's a a loon who claimed Elizabeth Cook is into the occult and Tim McGraw is a member of the Illuminati, among other craziness)


4. Manimal

3. My own minor surgical procedure, while awake

2. Donald Trump and Charles Barkley having a debate about the best condiment

1. A Caillou marathon at full volume

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