Jul 23, 2018

More Monday Morning Memes: FGL, Alan Jackson, etc.


  1. "Pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight"? Tell me again how Alan Jackson isn't "bro-country". Despite his braindead army of fans touting him as some sort of "traditional country savior", he clearly isn't; in fact, he practically invented bro-country. Hell, Jackson has built an entire career on disgracing country music, giving country music a bad name by making it look ignorant and jingoistic, and us country fans look like racist, trailer-dwelling, white trash hicks. Listen here, I'm not even white, I'm a good student, and I generally try to be open-minded around other people. But back to my point, look no further than Alan Jackson's shit songs "It's Alright to Be a Redneck", "I Still Like Bologna", "Jim and Jack and Hank", and that stupid 9/11-exploiting pile of crap which he didn't donate any money made off that stupid piece of shit to any 9/11 victims' families, and where he couldn't tell the difference between Iraq and Iran. But this isn't even the whole story of how much of a disgrace to country music this soy boy is. Like I said, Jackson's "music" is far from real country music, being heavily influenced by other, non-country sounds such as Drake-style R&B, EDM, 80's hair metal and especially hip-hop, to the point where Jackson has essentially put country music in a subversive and submissive role to hip-hop, having, out of all people, a RAPPER produce his music. Namely, Polow da Don, the same guy who produced Nicki Minaj's crapstrosity "Anaconda", and has also worked with an array of other fellow rappers including Chris Brown, Nelly, Gucci Mane, T.I., and Travis Scott. Sounds like some real honky-tonk country to me, riiiight? And it only gets worse when you look at his concert setlists, considering that his current tour is supposed to be titled "Honky Tonk Highway". By judging from the title, an naive person would go to an Alan Jackson concert expecting to hear "real country music", yet that's far from the case. Alan Jackson's concert setlists are littered with multiple covers of rap songs (alongside an ABBA song), specifically
    * Akon - Don't Matter
    * Wiz Khalifa - We Dem Boyz
    * Tyga - Hookah
    * Soulja Boy - Turn My Swag On
    * Soulja Boy - I Got that Sauce
    * Future - Mask Off
    * Flo Rida - Whistle
    * T.I. - Whatever You Like
    * Big Sean - Dance (A$$)
    * Lil Wayne - Love Me
    * Drake - Passionfruit
    * Offset - Ric Flair Drip
    * Yung Joc - Dope Boy Magic
    * ABBA - Super Trouper
    * Fetty Wap - Jugg
    Tell me, Mr. Jackson, how this is supposed to be a "Honky Tonk Highway" when you're grovelling down to rap music in almost every way possible? It fucking isn't. To anyone with an IQ above 90, it's obvious that Alan Jackson has done irreversible damage to the once-proud genre of country music. From making country music look dumb, to introducing various non-country influences (to the point where traditional country sounds have been replaced by rap and rock, among others, and a pop star, Bebe Rexha, holds the record for the longest running number one country song at 49 weeks and counting), how is Alan Jackson not the father of the bro-country/hick-hop garbage infesting mainstream country radio today? Alan Jackson is basically Sam Hunt with a mustache and cowboy hat. His music is as far away from traditional country as you can get, regardless of whatever bullshit his fans spew about how he's "one of the last traditional country artists remaining". Alan Jackson did to country music what Bush did to Iraq and Obama did to Libya. I've said this before and I'll say it again - Alan Jackson is the Nickelback of country music.

    1. Unless you bring something new to the conversation, this will be the last comment I allow you to post on Farce the Music. Go troll Wikipedia or something.



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