Apr 7, 2021

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in Southern Rock


Most of these “jerk” lists have been surprising. This one, not as much. Rock stars are well known for ego and snotty behavior. Even though they may put off good vibes online or when meeting fans, here are some of Southern Rock’s most egregious offenders.


10. Gregg Allman

Only married Cher to piss off southern rock fans. Kept bus fridge stocked with clean urine despite never actually having to take drug tests. 


9. Wes Bayliss (The Steel Woods)

Thinks turn signals are for the weak. Has a side job as one of those people who calls you about your car’s warranty. 


8. Marcus King

Still draws dicks on sleeping bandmates like it’s a 1997 frat house. Insists upon a state trooper entourage walking him to the stage. 


7. Dan Baird (Georgia Satellites)

Only plays “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” in a medley at concerts. Hangs the toilet paper “under.” 


6. Cody Cannon (Whiskey Myers)

Puffs, puffs, puts it out. Secretly a hit pop-country songwriter under the alias Corey Crowder. Burps and blows in your face. 


5. Susan Tedeschi

Only allows mainstream country stations to be played over the tour bus speakers. Makes band sign non-disclosure agreements so no one knows about her Red Man habit. One member is being fired at this moment.


4. Charlie Starr (Blackberry Smoke)

Talks in a fake Southern aristocrat accent for interviews. Doesn’t flush. Doesn’t put his grocery cart up. 


3. Dale Krantz Rossington (The Rossington Band, Skynyrd)

Used to hide rotten fruit in Leon Russell’s beard while he was asleep. Cheats at Words with Friends. Hollers “Play Free Bird!” while actually on the stage with Lynyrd Skynyrd. 


2. Derek Trucks

Never responds to text messages. Intentionally uses poor grammar and spelling on Facebook posts to trigger perfectionists. Personally selects the pre-show monitor music: all Ricky Martin hits. Doesn’t pick up after his dog.


1. Chris Robinson

Whoops. Actually is a jerk. Sorry for ending this on a downer. 


7 comments:

  1. If we were on the road as much as these great musicians are, we would probably do worse. Sounds like your just jealous, plain and simple

    ReplyDelete
  2. Burps and blows in your face...hahahahahahahaha!!!

    This was hilarious! Thanks for the smile.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I certainly didn’t know the man but like a fool I stood in line about 11/2 hours to get an autographed copy of Gregg Allman autobiography. The book is vulgar and not even worth reading.He didn’t even look up to acknowledge me. Also he was very dismissive of other guys wanting him to sign old LPs. Of course he had a smile for the pretty ladies. Even my daughter standing in the background was taken aback by the disrespect of the whole thing. Really enjoyed the Allman Brothers through the years . Saw them in Columbus in the 70s after Duane and Berry died . Dangerous Dan, Dickey Betts and others played a heck of a show despite Gregg being so drunk or stoned that he couldn’t even sing. Could still play the Hammond though. Loved the revolving speaker. Never forgot fans cursing at him for not being able to sing and of course him cursing back. Also they had another keyboardist I think on an Edgar Winter type of keyboard tearing it up and I could see Gregg looking at him with a look that could kill.
    I have met other prominent musicians in the following years that have met Gregg and all say he was an insufferable asshole.
    Great legacy I guess

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gregg Allman was one of a kind . He and others combined pure magic. I guess the lesson learned is just appreciate the music. If your slate is clean I guess you can through stones. No ones is . Thank you for the music
    Gregg, Duane, Berry , Butch, Jaimoe
    and Dicky
    By the way check out Devon and Dickies son

    ReplyDelete
  5. How the fuck did you find a picture of Derek Trucks with an actual expression on his face?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was farting in that pic if I member rightlee oh and it was stage clearing epik!

      Delete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails