May 27, 2009
May 26, 2009
Zac Brown Band Parody
Welcome to the very first Country California/Farce the Music crossover day. Here are the lyrics to the song the ZBB rewrote for an STD awareness campaign as mentioned in this "fake news" story at Country California. And see the new ZBB "Fun With Charts & Graphs" just below! Thanks to CM for putting up with my twisted ideas. :)
Whateveritis
(Parody of the Zac Brown Band's "Whatever It Is")
She's got thighs that stay open wide
And lips that taste like some other guy
And her dirty mind is in the gutter everytime
She's got a burning sensation when she pees
Think it might be venereal disease
Tired of being scared that the girl's gonna pass it to me
She's got whateveritis
Getting tested today
Yeah, the girl's been around the block a time or two
She swears this time she's home to stay
She's got whateveritis
The doc knows what to do
For a two week cycle
Gotta take that Cipro pill cause baby I love you
You got whatever it is
Folks say I shoulda got a clue on our very first date
When every guy we passed would smile and say "hey"
And the way she reached down in her jeans to scratch
People ask me what the hell, tell 'em I don't know
Gonna make an honest woman out of this ho, that's right
Soon as she loses this clap
She's got whateveritis
Getting tested today
Yeah, the girl's been around the block a time or two
She swears this time she's home to stay
She's got whateveritis
The doc knows what to do
For a two week cycle
Gotta take that Cipro pill cause baby I love you
You got whatever it is
Bridge
When she loves me
I'm kinda scared to feel
When she loves me
My contagious girl
When she loves me
Gotta wear two condoms
When she loves me
Think I'm in big trouble...
(Repeat Chorus)
Fun With Charts & Graphs: Zac Brown Band
Click for a closer view and make sure to check out the related "fake news" story at Country California!May 25, 2009
May 24, 2009
May 23, 2009
YouTube Gem: Ryan Bingham
From the forthcoming album Roadhouse Sun which I just pre-ordered on Amazon (they're offering a free mp3 with purchase), here's Ryan Bingham with an acoustic rendition of "Tell My Mother I Miss Her So."
May 21, 2009
May 20, 2009
John Rich's Songwriting Tips #8
Another email question: Lisa in Ft. Worth asks "What do I have to do for you publish one of my songs?" Lisa, that's some aggressive marketing there. They say it's who you know... and "know" has multiple meanings. Could you send me a few snapshots and a scan of your drivers license, baby? That sh*t gets me in trouble a lot. Back to the question... I'll give your song a listen while we um, talk, and if there's a good payoff, then yes, I'll sign you to a single song contract. But don't call me after that.
Not actually written by John Rich.
May 19, 2009
.99 Review - Krista Marie
Krista Marie - Jeep Jeep
The People's Take
"CONFUSED!" (1 star) – Who wants to hear this garbage?
by Kovac
"Catchy!" (4 stars) – In a world of pop "country" stars, at least Krista Marie's got some twang to her songs! Definately catchy and better than all that pop music on country radio these days.
by Ohmeohyo-o
"Jeep Jeep" (5 stars) – I love this song!!!
by Boom-chika-boom
My Take *
Hey look! Cool! It's one of my old Myspace friends (remember Myspace??) made good! Man, I remember when she was just an up-and-comer sending me event invitations that I never looked at because of the 400 others in my inbox and begging me to vote for her in some contest or something. I remember her Colgate Country Showdown days (or was that Mary Christa?) and her weekly posting of rough demos of her cute but awkward Gretchen Wilson-lite songs. Wow, she's all grown up now. Just look at her all full of attitude on that hawg. She's looking confident and ready for the balloon festival circuit! I bet the couple of years since I paid attention to anybody's updates on Myspace have really benefited her material and recording presence. She's taken the leap to iTunes so at the very least, she's gotten herself a 2009 calendar. Let's take a listen! Ohhh. Wait - what? Uh oh. No. No. This is... Whoops. Sorry, almost lapsed into a copycat of Dan Milliken's review of the Oak Ridge Boys' "Seven Nation Army" but not for similar reasons. Beep beep, jeep jeep, seats seats? Didn't have to crack open the rhyming dictionary for that one didja? Tough and sexy, that's how he rolls! He's off the hook? Hoo me. Ah. Well, it brings back fond memories of 2005... and Tom.... and spam... and my 2000+ really close personal friends (I wonder how they're getting along these days?). I suppose "Jeep Jeep" should sound pretty okay in the smoky air of the Porkrinds Festival this June, but I'm just not feelin' it dawg. Uh oh, a friend just dropped me.
Total value: .20/.99
The People's Take
"CONFUSED!" (1 star) – Who wants to hear this garbage?
by Kovac
"Catchy!" (4 stars) – In a world of pop "country" stars, at least Krista Marie's got some twang to her songs! Definately catchy and better than all that pop music on country radio these days.
by Ohmeohyo-o
"Jeep Jeep" (5 stars) – I love this song!!!
by Boom-chika-boom
My Take *
Hey look! Cool! It's one of my old Myspace friends (remember Myspace??) made good! Man, I remember when she was just an up-and-comer sending me event invitations that I never looked at because of the 400 others in my inbox and begging me to vote for her in some contest or something. I remember her Colgate Country Showdown days (or was that Mary Christa?) and her weekly posting of rough demos of her cute but awkward Gretchen Wilson-lite songs. Wow, she's all grown up now. Just look at her all full of attitude on that hawg. She's looking confident and ready for the balloon festival circuit! I bet the couple of years since I paid attention to anybody's updates on Myspace have really benefited her material and recording presence. She's taken the leap to iTunes so at the very least, she's gotten herself a 2009 calendar. Let's take a listen! Ohhh. Wait - what? Uh oh. No. No. This is... Whoops. Sorry, almost lapsed into a copycat of Dan Milliken's review of the Oak Ridge Boys' "Seven Nation Army" but not for similar reasons. Beep beep, jeep jeep, seats seats? Didn't have to crack open the rhyming dictionary for that one didja? Tough and sexy, that's how he rolls! He's off the hook? Hoo me. Ah. Well, it brings back fond memories of 2005... and Tom.... and spam... and my 2000+ really close personal friends (I wonder how they're getting along these days?). I suppose "Jeep Jeep" should sound pretty okay in the smoky air of the Porkrinds Festival this June, but I'm just not feelin' it dawg. Uh oh, a friend just dropped me.
Total value: .20/.99
The Checklist
Church/God
Mama
Boots
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
Love
Hometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck (Jeep Jeep!)
Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers
Pop Sheen
Star Power
Mama
Boots
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
LoveHometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck (Jeep Jeep!)Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers
Pop Sheen
Star Power
*Okay, so this review actually made me feel a little guilty to write and post. I honestly wish Ms./Mrs. Marie all the success in the world... just not with this turd of a song!
May 18, 2009
May 17, 2009
May 15, 2009
May 14, 2009
May 13, 2009
John Rich's Songwriting Tips #7
Name dropping is a time honored tradition in Nashville. Familiarity breeds commerce. Cash makes cash. Paycheck... damn right, paycheck! Hell, I've named whole songs after famous people who were not even mentioned outside the hook line. It don't matter. You want to have Dave Coe in a love song, go the hell ahead. He probably loved some girl one night.
May 12, 2009
Parody of Randy Houser's "Boots On"
Crocs On
(Parody of Randy Houser's "Boots On")
You can tell her life is hard
Soaps to watch and she's tired
Since the lab got busted
She's on stamps, ain't got a job
But that don't bring her tears
Still got a fridge full of beer
And she still goes out once in a while
And she does it in style
[Chorus]
In her dirty sweat pants
And that Bama shirt with holes
Hooters fanny pack
full of Marlboros
Hell she might just cause a scene
With those curlers tight and pink
No need to change a thing, screw y'all
She's goin' out with her Crocs on
Now I keep catching her eye
Like a big ol' chicken pie
Her on that hoverround
Me on the cookie aisle
Lord, she's sure lookin' fine
Like biggirllovin dot com
I'm excited thinkin' that I just might
leave Walmart with her alright
In her dirty sweat pants
And that Bama shirt with holes
Hooters fanny pack
full of Marlboros
Hell she might just cause a scene
With those curlers tight and pink
No need to change a thing, screw y'all
She's goin' out with her Crocs on
'Cause we are who we are and she's
the gal for me, yeah
And if the trailer's rockin'
well, don't you bother comin' knockin', y'all
It ain't no luck, it's destiny
[Chorus]
With her crocs on
She's gonna make sweet love
Ooh, with her crocs on
May 11, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
