Sep 19, 2009
The Pirate Song
In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day:
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©Bret Bingham/Corey Parkman
Sep 18, 2009
Video Gems: Lucero
Farce the Music's favorite band, Lucero, is releasing a new album entitled 1372 Overton Park on October 6th and they've let fans film videos for all 12 songs on the record. The first one is called "Darken My Door" and it's equal parts hilarious, disturbing and sad. Enjoy!
Darken My Door from Lucero on Vimeo.
Sep 17, 2009
___ Deserves a Sackpunch
Nickelback Fan
Admit it. You don't really like music. You just like the way the high school girls look at you when you drive by band practice with "Something in Your Mouth" cranking out the windows of your ragged out Mazda that still has the loud pipes. The huge guitar riffs stand as tall as the popped collar of your creatine fueled muscle filled Affliction polo shirt as you nod and raise an index finger towards the cute blonde with an oboe in her mouth. The bass in your Kenwoods pounds as hard as your Red Bull-juiced heart as you glare at the skinny high school boys waiting for their girlfriends by the band hall. You could kick all their asses at once, couldn't you? And Mr. Kroeger's garbage post-grunge hard rock band would also play on the soundtrack to that melée, wouldn't it?
Some would say it's Nickelback who's at fault here, but I'm gonna disagree. They're just a few guys who got lucky and found the magic formula for making millions of dollars a year by reproducing the same song over and over and over and over, throwing in some naughty sex talk every now and then for spice. That formula has earned them groupies, fine cribs, fancy whips, country songwriting gigs, record companies and fame. Who would give up that meal ticket? I wouldn't. Good on 'em. I can't stand them, but good for them! You go Chad!
No, it's you, Nickelcrack fan, who needs to feel the insane pain on your lower membranes. You are the one who fills the band's coffers year after year, despite their general repetitive suckiness. You are the douchebag who hates music unless it makes you look cool to the underage girls you stalk on your lunch break from Kinkos. You need something to pump you up while you're stinking up the Bally's leg press machine in your Ed Hardy wife beater. You're the tool who gets so drunk at the concert you don't even remember anything about the show except "that dude I beat up in the bathroom after I puked." You suck worse than the band. "How you remind me" of people who end up in jail for nefarious sex crimes and arson.
You probably don't have a very large target due to the 'roids, but assume the position. It's time for a migraine inducing, sperm-count reducing sackpunch!
Sep 16, 2009
Taylor Swift Parody
Bloodstains on My Guitar
(Parody of Taylor Swift's "Teardrops on my Guitar")
He looks at me, I can tell that he's shocked to see
That I want to discuss our matter acoustically
"I'ma let you finish, that's a pretty good rhyme
But this is one of the greatest hits of all time"
Talked over me, I laugh cause it's almost funny
He's gotten quiet now that he's getting what's coming
This Gibson's light brown finish is about to turn red
As it makes a crash landing on Kanye's ginormous head
[Chorus:]
'Ye's the reason for the bloodstains on my guitar
Leave him laying in a heap ontage and seeing stars
He's a jerk, interrupts, I'll keep beating, till he is brown and blue
Ye's on his knees, can he tell that I'm happy?
I don't accept his apology
Can't tell me nothin' - I'm watchin' him bleed
Now here's another hit like Barry Bonds
Cognac is no excuse, Mr. West better find some gauze
[Repeat Chorus]
He had no home training, but that don't make it right
Put this on Twitter, Pink, Kanye's
Gettin' concussed tonight
Kanye's the reason for the bloodstains on my guitar
Left him laying in a heap ontage and seeing stars
He's a jerk, interrupts, I kept beating, till he was brown and blue
A jackass spittin' blood, but it's still not enough
Gonna step on his package with my boots
'Ye begs and pleads, but we agree to disagree
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