Fun With Charts & Graphs

Odds & Ends Parody Album Covers

Bocephus Parody

Here's a parody so biting it's also satire. ...from our buddy CM Wilcox of Country California (and The 9513). Nice job CM!

Online Edition

(a parody of Hank Jr's "Family Tradition")

Country music singers

Have always been a real close family

But lately some of the critics

Have been getting a little too mean

Those nitwits say

We're headed in a sucky direction

Read all about it in the online edition

They bag on me, wanna know stuff like

Where is the steel?

And where is the fiddle?

Why must you always pander to the middle?

Over and over

Spouting their opinions

It makes me pissed

The stuff they've writ

In that online edition

I am very proud

Of my big old truck

And I'll tell you about it

In a song that will surely suck

It'll hit those charts

And shoot right up to the top position

But they don't care, those queers out there

And their online edition

Don't ask me, hoss

Where is the cheating?

And where is the sin?

Why must you brag on your rural origins?

If on my next album

I make some poor song selections

Don't go running me down

When I'm not around

In your online edition

Lordy, I have charmed some ladies

To get to where I am

And you can hear me playing

From every mama's minivan

So don't you try to tell me

That I'm bound for perdition

Just because they claim every song's the same

In that online edition

It makes me wonder, man

Where do they live?

And how can I get there?

What can I do to give them fools a scare?

Loading up my shotgun

I'm gonna have them wishin'

They could run from what they done

In that online edition

They'll shut up when, I put an end

To that online edition.

Top 10 Ways Jason Aldean is Trying to Look Tougher

10. Letting blonde highlights grow out

09. Studying hip-hop album covers to work on his scowl

08. Manlier earrings

07. Using sandpaper and gravel to roughen up supple hands

06. Practicing intimidating poses in his full length mirror, growling

05. Having peach fuzz dyed black

04. Punching self in face, rehearsing bar fight story

03. Putting a "Peeing Calvin" sticker on his Prius

02. Getting dragon tattoo over old one that said "I Heart LOLcats!"

01. Standing close to Chuck Wicks to look like Chuck Norris in comparison

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #23

Learn the rules so you can break them. Find out the generally accepted song forms, then you can change 'em up a little and still have it be mediocre enough to interest Nashville folks. This "learn 'em to break 'em" rule is a good maxim for everyday life as well: When you're sober, figure out where the traps usually are so later you can get to' up and still make it home without having to say the alphabet backwards if you know what I mean. Get your wife used to you coming in at 12 so she'll start drifting off about that time, then you can slip around up past 2 (Tiger ain't learned shiyatt). That's enough help. Figure this stuff out yourself. It took me years to get this pimpin' in the songwriting and sack shaking games.

Not actually written by John Rich.