John Rich's Songwriting Tips #42

Okay, you've got a great song written, rewritten, recorded and professionally demoed. What now? Hell if I know. Maybe give it to a superstar singer you know. Oh yeah, you don't know any. Uh, record it yourself for your record label. You don't have a record label? Hmmm. Throw it up in the air and if it comes back down, it was never meant to be anyway. Man, I'm at a loss as to how the little man gets a song recorded.... uh, hmmm.

Just don't hand them to me if you see me around town. I've got lawsuits pending over songs I borrowed... supposedly stole. I really can't help you here. Bottom Line: Be famous and your songs will get recorded. That's how I roll, c*cksucker.

*Not actually written by John Rich.

Songs Illustrated #25

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Top 10 Names Rejected Before Settling on "Jaron and the Long Road to Love"

10. Jaron and the Short Trip to Country

09. Peter Brady and the Long Road to Love

08. Jaron Aldean

07. Jaron and His Weekday Tour

06. Mr. Lowenstein's Wonder Emporium

05. One Twin FTW!

04. Jaron and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

03. Fella' Antebellum

02. Jaron and the Thong Burns

01. Suck It Evan!

Band Mashup: RK+KO=

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Liver, Liver (a parody lyric)

Liver, Liver
(Parody of Jerrod Niemann's "Lover, Lover")

80 proof
Well it burns to taste
But I'll be flat on my back
Before the break of day
I'm gettin' lit
Like I planned it
Us winners never say quit
They should buy me a plaque
Barkeep, before you get your ass whupped I got to say
You cut me off at eleven
But that was yesterday
Now it's two past midnight an'
Since my sober's returnin' you got to do what's right

Whoa, liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more
Oh liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more

Hell the truth,
Yeah it hurts today
I woke up flat on my back
And someone wrote on my face
Wet with beer
Or that might be tears
Can't believe they let me sleep here
This drinkin' thing, I've got the knack
Lord I'm supposed to be at work, and it's half past eight
Wait, who the hell's this woman
With her meaty arm around me
Droolin' on my shoulder, it's wet and cold
I shouldn't do it no more
But one drink leads to floor

Whoa, liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more
No no more more more
Oh liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more

yea, hellllll yea

Well I'm punishing you almost every night
Cirrhosis on the way cause I don't treat you right
Can't go to no AA, cause hugging at meetings sucks
I'm not an alcoholic just a drunk connoisseur

Liver oh liver
yeah yeah
no, no, more more more

Until whiskey digs me down into the grave, there'll be no givin it up
Drunken is my favorite state
Friends can't stand me no longer
Why they gotta hate?
I only feel bad for my organs yeah I gotta say
liver, oh liver, yeah, yeah
lliver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more
liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more
liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more
liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more