Country Christmas Cards: John Rich

FTM has been lucky enough to get on a few stars' mailing lists and we've acquired some holiday cards the stars are sending out this year. First up is John Rich.

.99 Reviews: Aaron Lewis - Country Boy

Aaron Lewis (with Chris Young, George Jones and Charlie Daniels) - Country Boy

(Note: linked version does not feature the guest stars)

The People's Take

Aaron is the MAN!! (5 Stars)

by Casie Browning

My wife and I have loved Aaron since Staind started back in 96'. His lyrics have always spoken to us and this song makes us love him even more. Get this now and request it on all the country stations out there.

Watch out country music, Aaron Lewis HAS ARRIVED!!! (5 Stars)

by redheadfaxy

Absolutely LOVE that voice!

My Take

Another day, another rocker going country. I'm not going to delve into the authenticity of this song; I have no idea if Lewis, lead singer of nu-metal outfit Staind, is actually from the country and I don't care. I'm going to take this thing at face value. First of all, he doesn't stray from the down-in-the-mouth, angst-filled delivery he used in modern rock hits like "So Far Away" and "It's Been Awhile." That alone makes this song nearly unlistenable as Mr. Staind never varies from his Alice in Chains-lite vocals. To play devil's advocate though, at least he didn't suddenly develop a Clearchannel-ready twang. Still, it's disconcerting in the context of this song.

Next of all, if there's a "proving my country cred" song with more rural touchstones than this, I'll eat my iPhone (not really; Justin Moore might ruin my lunch with his next release). Hank, guns, jeans, t-shirts, trucks, whiskey, dirt roads, soldiers, patriotism, stubborn independence…. what else do you need right?

George Jones warbles a little and Charlie Daniels even stops in to tell us about family and country and say "sonsabitches" at the end. I guess Chris Young was in there too, but I couldn't pick him out in the first 3 listens… and I don't want to listen again.

Overcompensating much?

Again, I don't know if Aaron Lewis really grew up on a rural route or in a trailer park on 49 South, but even if Jamey Johnson sang this song I'd have to take him to task for going way too heavy on the back woods imagery.

A co-worker said it sounds like one of those songs on a rock album where the band tries its hand at country… and many have done so much better. Stone Temple Pilots, Alice in Chains and especially The Rolling Stones, to name a few.

And then... the song itself. It's as dull as any Staind album cut. That band, while milquetoast as all get out, still managed to create some "catchy" and successful singles based on the Nirvana quiet-loud formula. In "Country Boy," there is no differentiation between verse and chorus melody-wise. It's the aural equivalent of a wet dishrag.

While other rockers gone country have been received at country radio with open arms, I'd be shocked if this one got much of a run. It's just too tuneless and drab, and the superstar appearances have no positive effect whatsoever.

A minor kudos: there's a bit more honesty and grit to this than your average country cred tune, but that doesn't move the arrow much in the positive direction.

This is a dud.

Total Value: .25/.99

The Checklist: (I've added a couple of categories: blue jeans and dirt road)

Beer

Life Affirmation

Mama

Boots

Name Dropping

Dying Person

County Fair

Blue Jeans

Lost Love

Love

Hometown Pride

Kindly Advice

Dirt Road

Truck

Whiskey

USA

Soldiers

Pop Sheen

Star Power

Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week

Songs Illustrated #41

Larry Lee Reviews George Strait & The Band Perry

George Strait - The Fireman

This hedonistic song is about man who fancies himself skillful at romancing women, and refers to himself by the metaphorical nickname "the fireman," indicating a self-idoling confidence in his abilities to satisfy loose females. He lists instances of his sordid adventures as evidence. One story he relates leads one to believe he is partaking in an adulterous relationship with one paramour. The listener must gather that the singer is conducting lustful thought, necking, foreplay, intercourse outside the bounds of marriage as well as possible oral deviance. This disturbingly risky behavior is recounted with a flippant attitude about the perverse activities and also a lack of regard for the potential eternal consequences (What good is it for a man to gain a harem of sexually compliant women and lose his very soul?). As such, one can only assume Mr. Strait is a wicked, unsaved man and his work is not fit for good Christian people, especially youngsters.

F

The Band Perry - If I Die Young

I believe this to be a deviant song of demonic origin. On the surface, it is presented as a lovely, poetic song about the untimely death of a young lady and her desire to be given some romanticized ritualistic type of funeral. She makes requests of the good Lord, such as to make her a rainbow after her death. This alone goes against the spirit of God's Word, but the most evil meaning of this song is below the surface of the pretty pretty words (the Devil comes to us not in the hangman's garb, but in silken clothing). After intense prayer time and discussion with others from the West Holcomb Primitive Baptist Church, I have determined that this is a song that glorifies suicide. This young lady decides to end her life (with a "sharp knife"), and why?? Because she has not yet had sexual intercourse with a man! For shame! This depraved culture has put upon our young people that their self-worth is based upon how often they engage in the sin of fornication. I tell you America, we are now bearing the fruit of the abominable seeds sown in the late 1960's. I renounce you Satan! I pray the Lord shines his light down upon this young family musical band and shows them the error of their iniquity before they split the gates of Hell wide open. I will personally wash the feet of the Perrys should they choose to know and follow the will of the Lord.

F