New Ronnie Dunn Album Cover Revealed

Top 10 The 9513 Memories

Last week, the mighty 9513 announced that it was shuttering its virtual doors - to much sadness and trepidation - due to time constraints. In honor of the best country music blog that ever was, FTM looks back on its favorite moments and comments from the 5-year history of the revered site.

Top 10 The 9513 Memories (that may or may not have been made up):

10. That news roundup in late May of 2010 dedicated only to LoCash Cowboys, SheDaisy and Fast Ryde tidbits.

09. The first link to a Rita Balloux article informing us what a merkin bump-it was. Yuck!

08. The day Jonathan presented an open-minded, well-balanced, thought-out retort to a review he disagreed with.

07. Juli Thanki's interview with Rosanne Cash in which she led with the question "Now, who are you again?"

06. C.M. Wilcox's 5-star review of "Brown Chicken Brown Cow"

05. The time Rick blamed the emergence of hick-hop on George W. Bush.

04. That time Carrie and Taylor fans harmoniously united in a comment thread over their shared hatred of twang, authenticity and artistic merit.

03. Jim Malec's politically unbiased review of that one patriotic war song by that guy in the hat (or was it the tall guy with the big muscles?).

02. The CMA's live blog where Karlie Justus challenged Miranda Lambert to a jello wrestling match.

01. The retraction of the negative review of Faith Hill's "Red Umbrella" based on threats of bodily harm to the Vercher twins by a couple of the songwriters.

Satirical Lyrical: Never Mind the Tatts

Never Mind the Tatts

©2011 FTM Satire

Hey y'all, remember me?

Just bought a new house in Tennessee

With the cash I made in alternative rock

But that ain't sellin' and the bills don't stop

So here I am

A country boy by damn

I've got a new drawl

And listen to me yell yeehaw

So, I'm from up north

There's dirt roads in New York

If I ain't country, I'll eat my hat

Never mind the tatts

I like salutin' the American flag

Buyin' Marlboros and taking a drag

I like to drive my new pickup real fast

And listen to me say "Johnny Cash!"

Oh, here I am

A country boy by damn

I've got a new twang

And listen to me yell hot dang!

So I pierced my nose

I'm dirty as a gravel road

If I ain't country, I'll eat my hat

Never mind the tatts

Bridge

Never mind the Mercedes Benz

Never mind my Hollywood friends

Never mind what TMZ might say

That whole gay thing was just a phase

And here I am

A country boy by damn

I've got a new drawl

And listen to me yell yeehaw

So I'm from up north

Shootin' coons is my favorite sport

If I ain't country, I'll eat my hat

Never mind the tatts

YouTube Gems: Mumford and Sons

A live recording of "Little Lion Man" from last Saturday's show at Beale Street Music Festival.

Come on Gary, clean and cook it first...