Mixed Music Action, Vol. 1, No. 6

By Jeremy Pinnell & Kevin Broughton

The Ultimate Fighting Championship returns to pay-per-view action this weekend (note: 2 p.m. Eastern start for the main card, as the promotion heads back to Abu Dhabi,) with a blockbuster card not seen in quite some time. There’s nowhere to go but up following a near-disastrous UFC 279, so Kevin and a certain Bluegrass State troubadour are here to hash things out. Only one of them is old enough to remember The Cure during their peak; details below.

 

We've got quite the pay-per-view card coming up Saturday, but we probably should devote a moment or two to UFC 279, which was an insult to cluster f*cks. Khamzat Chimaev busts the weight limit by about eight pounds and shuffles the entire card. It worked out well for Nate Diaz -- who ended up with a win over Tony Ferguson at 170. For Kevin Holland...not so much. 

 

What to make of that entire goat rodeo? 

 

Honestly Kevin, I might be crucified for saying this, but the main event was just a spectacle. It was a yawner. I feel like the game has advanced so much that going backwards in fighting styles isn’t entertaining. Obviously, I was a fan of both in the main event, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the upcoming PPV. I gave you the nails, but you have to provide the cross.

 

Hmm. Some troubling imagery there. This weekend, happily, features UFC 280 and one of the best potential fight cards in a while. There are a ton of interesting angles, starting with the top of the card: Lightweight champ Charles Oliveira -- who's beaten every 155-er not named Khabib -- gets the former champion's protege, Islam Makhachev. It's kinda crazy that the champion is an underdog here, but he's fighting a Daegestani. 

 

The co-main event has bantamweight champion Aljamain Sterling (many don’t consider him the legit belt-holder) defending his title against the Lance Armstrong of MMA, TJ Dillashaw. And in the same weight division, Sean O'Malley finally faces a legit opponent in Petr Yan. 

 

There's a lot to like about this card. What are you looking most forward to seeing? It's gonna be lit, I think. 

 

I’m super stoked on this card.  Honestly, every fight on the main card is fire. I don’t even know where to start. I think the O’Malley/ Yan fight is gonna be entertaining AF; I’m a fan of second chances and I hope TJ beats the brakes off Aljo. Makhachev is hungry, but so is Oliviera. Damn, it’s an intense card!

That main event really has me tied in knots. Oliveira went the distance with Ferguson, then stopped Chandler in the second round, Poirier in the third, and Justin Freaking Gaethje in the first. It’s hard to pick against him, but I think Mahkachev is just a different beast. 

 

 

Anyway, are you still actively training at Brazilian jiu-jitsu? Serious question: If you're out on the road for a while, do you ever take your gi with you & find a local gym to roll in? 

 

I am training and it’s going very good. I feel like I’m gaining traction. I never take my gi with me; I’ve considered it, but also I can’t afford any injuries on the road. I’m trying to make money, Kevin. The hustle is real.

 

Duly noted, sir. Speaking of being on the road, you were quite the warrior in the summer and early fall, so it looks like you're taking some well-deserved time off. Any plans for a short tour between now and the new year? 

 

No, I needed some downtime. The world is crazy and I’m feeling the heat. I needed to be home with my family for a while. I have a few things lined up but am only taking things I really want… which is kind of perfect. I’m slowly getting interested in playing my guitar again.

 

Heck, I need to do that myself; I’ve almost lost my callouses and I don’t do that stuff for a living. 

 

You threw me a curve this time around and told me you've been digging a band called Urban Heat. I was not familiar & did a little research; so what is it that drew you to this group? Sincerely, “Dude who never thought The Cure would change its name and dress up like Lemmy.”

 

 

I came across this band the last tour we were on. Their song “City Lights” just sounded so good; I was immediately hooked. I’ve been listening to a lot of synth pop anyway.

 

Well, color me…surprised. If this were a real curveball, I’d have the umpire search the pitcher’s glove; that’s a lot of break, Cousin. We’ll let Urban Heat take us out of here, wishing you and your better half a happy Sixth Anniversary. 

 

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Country Songwriter Assures Fans There is Not “A Song in There” About Colonoscopy

Country singer and songwriter Gary Hyden recently turned 46 and decided to post on social media about his experience getting a colonoscopy to bring awareness to intestinal health. “It’s important to get checked out, guys. And they’ve lowered the suggested age from 50 to 45, so make sure to look after yourself!” he posted on an Instagram post a few weeks ago. Gary went on to highlight different steps of his experience to assure fans around his age that it was a simple and important procedure.

“Wasn’t fun, but it’s done!” he posted alongside a photo of him giving a thumbs up in a medical gown a few days later. 

Most of the replies to his social media updates were simple ‘atta boys’ and support for Gary, but there was also a prevalent curious response that left him seething. “There’s a song in there!” said many of the comments, or “There might not be anything left inside you but I bet at least a good chorus comes out.”

Hyden had received versions of that cliched comment over the years on various other posts and had generally become numb to the trite statement, but this… this got his goat. 

“No the f**k there isn’t a song in there,” responded the normally polite and affable Hyden, “They shoved a tube up my ass with a camera in it, and I spent all the night before on the toilet, and that stuff I had to drink tasted like fruit flavored Myrtle Beach seawater.” Gary copied and pasted this enraged response to every person who’d suggested the possibility of discovering the muse in an awkward but necessary ordeal.

“Really, does there have to be a song in every one of life’s experiences?” asked Hyden when we talked to him. “They’ve said that s**t about hayrides, trips to Kroger, mowing the yard, and drinking chocolate milk… it gets old, okay.” He went on to explain that while he’s an artist, he’s also a human being who sometimes just lives in the moment, whether it’s uncomfortable or blissful. 

Five minutes later, Hyden called us back. “I uhhh, just realized they were joking that there might be a song up my ass,” he giggled. “I’ve got some apologizing to do.”

At press time, Hyden was seeing if he could figure out a rhyme for GoLytely.

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