YouTube Gems: Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings

I've been looking for some modern soul/R&B in the vein of old favorites like Otis Redding and Sam Cooke and I finally found it (though I'm a little late to the party, as usual). From their killer new album of the same name, this is Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings with "I Learned the Hard Way."

Post #1000: Jason Aldean Parody

For Farce the Music's 1000th post, here's a parody of Jason Aldean's Crazy Town.

Lazy Town

(Parody of Jason Aldean's "Crazy Town")

Roll into town, Raise quite a fuss

That you on Idol? Yes it was

Hold a guitar, show your white teeth

Welcome to Nashville, Tennessee

And I have found

Its a lazy town creatively

Everybody doin' the same damn thing

Yeah Hollywood without any Cash

To be a star you gotta smooch some ass

Sing at the Opry that keeps Hank out

Make all the soccer moms scream and shout

Payola, just pay it

They're all just tryin' to fake it in that lazy town

Former rock stars can eat for free

Put on a hat, you can be country

Write a song with three other guys

Make connections and sign some dotted lines

You won't find old or new sounds

Cause Nashvegas has got that formula down

Its a lazy town creatively

Everybody doin' the same damn thing

Yeah Hollywood without any Cash

To be a star you gotta smooch some ass

Sing at the Opry that keeps Hank out

Make all the soccer moms scream and shout

Payola, just pay it

They're all just tryin' to fake it in that lazy town

Sing about tractors and pickup trucks

and the next year make a couple million bucks

Its a lazy town creatively

Everybody chasin' that almighty green

Shallow pool without any waves

And ol' Hank's rolling over in his grave

Bend those strings like Van Halen did

And call it country, but who do they kid?

It's B.S., I hate it

Sure they're dyin' to make it

But make no mistakin'

Most are just tryin' to fake it in that lazy town

It's a lazy town

---

Post #999: Hip Hop Limericks #3

Once was a man in a situation
Chatted up a girl from the U.S. nation
He kept tryin' to get in
But she had this other "friend"
C*ck-blocking their relations

______Deserves a Sackpunch #8

Rascal Flatts

You may think you know what's next. This is where I say that the ten years Rascal Flatts has graced us with their screeching has been the worst era of commercial country music. This is where I blame them for influencing the further drift towards pop music. This is where I punch Gary The Voice in his scrotum for assaulting my eardrums on multiple occasions.

Wrong. While all that may be true, it's not worth arguing any more. Country is dead, long live country... whatever.

Fact is, for some reason I still listen to, report on, ridicule and lament country radio. Rascal Flatts is still played hourly on country radio. To that end, while I am not a fan, I want Flatts' music to be as good as it can be if I'm gonna have to hear it. Granted, the bar has been set low, but once upon a time, I counted the country boy-band as a guilty pleasure - or at least some of their songs. Those particular songs are all over 5 years old.

Since that time, RF has coasted on their relatively crappy resume, putting out song after song that barely differed from the last, at least musically. Now, I don't expect the guys to get all adventurous and put out, heaven forbid, an actual country album... or push the boundaries of commercial country in an artistic or positive direction, so I request quite the opposite.

Dance with who brung ya. Regress. Keep it simple stupid.

"Prayin' for Daylight" and "Everyday Love" introduced us to the "band" with big hooks, soaring harmonies and memorable melodies. "I Melt" was uh, cheesy goodness. "What Hurts the Most" and "These Days" were irresistibly catchy downers. "Bless the Broken Road" and "I'm Movin' On" were simple gems. Even the lyrically insipid "Mayberry" was an earworm.

Since those high water marks, aside from a couple of tolerable singles, pretty much all you've given us are mid-tempo inspirational tracks out the wazoo. There's hardly a hair's width difference between "Stand," "Unstoppable" and "Every Day." Great, they gave you airplay and ad placement, but yawn. If I want to hear elevator music, I'll go downtown. "Here?" Even the title just sits there.

If you're wondering why you're lacking in the award nominations recently, look no further than the above song releases. If even the country music machine is sick of you, something's very wrong.

You've got a cash cow in your harmonies and commercial persona. Milk it. Pop it up guys (can't believe I said that). Get campy. Do something! Don't just sit there. Much worse, in pop culture, than being a lightning rod, is being a limp dishrag.

C'mon guys, make it a little more interesting to hate you. Right now, you're fish in a barrel.

You know what's coming. A sackpunch designed to definitely hurt the most.

Country Day: April '10