Oct 28, 2015

You're Not a Real Country Singer!

Thanks to our Twitter and Facebook friends for the replies!
*note - some people gave straight-forward responses, some gave ironic/facetious answers. 
I'll leave it up to you to decide which is which*

You're Not a Real Country Singer if...

You're never photographed with the bill of a cap actually in its correct position

You were born in Georgia any time after 1976 - Jeremy Harris

You can't rap! -‪Ed Kosmicki‬ 

You can't think of any use for a field that doesn't involve parking your truck and drinking. 

If your backwards trucker hat and jeans both are bedazzled. - John Deery

You don't know who Roy Acuff is -‪Justin Chambers‬ 

Your tour rider specifies low-carb beers and veggie trays

you feel the need to inform people any chance you get that you are a real country singer. 

You think Montgomery-Gentry is classic country. -‪Michael Crabtree‬ 

you compare yourself to Justin Bieber @emperorcupcake2

You use the word "beer" or "redneck" like a comma. 
-‪Anthony Wentzel‬ 

your dance instructor has to synergize with your marketing director -Seth Wilson

I can't see your nuts pulsing through your jeans. -‏‪@Senor_Fern‬ 

If the only "back road" you've ever driven on was the one behind the Urban Outfitters 
where you drank that Pabst your friend's older brother scored for you. -‪Barry Toffoli‬ 

You can name more Bruno Mars songs than you can Merle Haggard songs

the instruments on your track don't match up to the ones being held on stage. -‏‪@JillChristinaWV‬ 

Your wife/girlfriend/manager has your balls in her purse - Kyle Smith

....your mic stand doesn't include bling. -‪Mark Allan Atwood‬ 

Your worst injury was from falling off stage during a Nicki Minaj medley

you've never had to lube up your pants to put them on. -@gradywsmith

Your back pockets have more sparkle than a handmade Valentines card. -‪Derrick Cox‬ 

All your fans "never liked country music before" -‪Jordan Pancho Kirk‬ 

You blocked Farce The Music on Twitter -‪Mark Breunig‬ 


  1. "Your back pockets have more sparkle than a handmade Valentines card. -‪Derrick Cox"
    Unless your name is Dwight or Marty.



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