Showing posts with label Nicki Minaj. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nicki Minaj. Show all posts

Dec 22, 2015

If _____ Wrote a Christmas Song: 2015

Cole Swindell
Hey Ms. Claus I wanna wish you well
Let me watch you shake that thang like a bell
Come and take a ride in my jacked up sleigh
One arm round you, one holding the reins
We'll jingle ling down a gravel road
Make a little joy, who cares if it's cold?

I'm a gift in every sense of the word, grinch
Better trust and believe in
Santa Claus this evenin'
Spreadin' joy like what, gonna roast them chestnuts

Old Dominion
Greetings girl, what's up?
It's a holiday, but I knew you'd pick it up
What you got on?
Are you wearing that mistletoe thong I bought ya
I know you've dialed "91_" on your land line, but I'm hopin' you don't call
I'm watching through your window, and I brought you some Christmas balls

Holiday bell ensemble
Joyous to see
Reindeer flying through the night
But then strikes tragedy
Gunshots o'er Tennessee
Hunting season's siege
Santa's team falls under the blade
Venison sausage is made

Nicki Minaj
This dude named Kringle used to make me merriest
Sack bigger than a mountain, I ain't talking about Everest
Real jolly ass elf, let me drive his snow speeder
Cookies made his mouth water, now he calling me Keebler

Kacey Musgraves
Misspelled Christmas on the trailer deck
Cause there's rum in my cider glass
If you hear the neighbors gossiping
Tell 'em they can kiss my merry ass

Oct 28, 2015

You're Not a Real Country Singer!

Thanks to our Twitter and Facebook friends for the replies!
*note - some people gave straight-forward responses, some gave ironic/facetious answers. 
I'll leave it up to you to decide which is which*

You're Not a Real Country Singer if...

You're never photographed with the bill of a cap actually in its correct position

You were born in Georgia any time after 1976 - Jeremy Harris

You can't rap! -‪Ed Kosmicki‬ 

You can't think of any use for a field that doesn't involve parking your truck and drinking. 

If your backwards trucker hat and jeans both are bedazzled. - John Deery

You don't know who Roy Acuff is -‪Justin Chambers‬ 

Your tour rider specifies low-carb beers and veggie trays

you feel the need to inform people any chance you get that you are a real country singer. 

You think Montgomery-Gentry is classic country. -‪Michael Crabtree‬ 

you compare yourself to Justin Bieber @emperorcupcake2

You use the word "beer" or "redneck" like a comma. 
-‪Anthony Wentzel‬ 

your dance instructor has to synergize with your marketing director -Seth Wilson

I can't see your nuts pulsing through your jeans. -‏‪@Senor_Fern‬ 

If the only "back road" you've ever driven on was the one behind the Urban Outfitters 
where you drank that Pabst your friend's older brother scored for you. -‪Barry Toffoli‬ 

You can name more Bruno Mars songs than you can Merle Haggard songs

the instruments on your track don't match up to the ones being held on stage. -‏‪@JillChristinaWV‬ 

Your wife/girlfriend/manager has your balls in her purse - Kyle Smith

....your mic stand doesn't include bling. -‪Mark Allan Atwood‬ 

Your worst injury was from falling off stage during a Nicki Minaj medley

you've never had to lube up your pants to put them on. -@gradywsmith

Your back pockets have more sparkle than a handmade Valentines card. -‪Derrick Cox‬ 

All your fans "never liked country music before" -‪Jordan Pancho Kirk‬ 

You blocked Farce The Music on Twitter -‪Mark Breunig‬ 

May 23, 2012

CMT Awards: Final Slate of Presenters and Performers

CMT has announced the final slate of presenters and performers for its 2012 CMT Awards telecast, Wednesday, June 6th at 8/7C. As always, it's an interesting mix of entertainers and personalities that's sure to increase your appreciation of country music! Without further adieu...

Insane Clown Posse presenting Best Hick-Hop Artist award

Christian Bale's stunt double

The cast of Bayou Billionaires

Criss Angel

DJ Jazzy Jeff

Survivor winner Kim Spradlin

Larry the Cable Guy

Lindsey Lohan as Liz Taylor

Marilyn Manson performing a tribute to George Lindsey

Marty from Madagascar 3

Nicki Minaj performing with The Pistol Annies

Rebecca Black presenting Female Vocalist of the Year

Andy Samberg

Tom Arnold

Troy Aikman and Hulk Hogan

Waka Flocka performing with Taylor Swift

Bruce Willis and The Rock


Old Dirty Bastard hologram


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