Odds & Ends Parody Album Covers

Bocephus Parody

Here's a parody so biting it's also satire. ...from our buddy CM Wilcox of Country California (and The 9513). Nice job CM!

Online Edition

(a parody of Hank Jr's "Family Tradition")

Country music singers

Have always been a real close family

But lately some of the critics

Have been getting a little too mean

Those nitwits say

We're headed in a sucky direction

Read all about it in the online edition

They bag on me, wanna know stuff like

Where is the steel?

And where is the fiddle?

Why must you always pander to the middle?

Over and over

Spouting their opinions

It makes me pissed

The stuff they've writ

In that online edition

I am very proud

Of my big old truck

And I'll tell you about it

In a song that will surely suck

It'll hit those charts

And shoot right up to the top position

But they don't care, those queers out there

And their online edition

Don't ask me, hoss

Where is the cheating?

And where is the sin?

Why must you brag on your rural origins?

If on my next album

I make some poor song selections

Don't go running me down

When I'm not around

In your online edition

Lordy, I have charmed some ladies

To get to where I am

And you can hear me playing

From every mama's minivan

So don't you try to tell me

That I'm bound for perdition

Just because they claim every song's the same

In that online edition

It makes me wonder, man

Where do they live?

And how can I get there?

What can I do to give them fools a scare?

Loading up my shotgun

I'm gonna have them wishin'

They could run from what they done

In that online edition

They'll shut up when, I put an end

To that online edition.

Top 10 Ways Jason Aldean is Trying to Look Tougher

10. Letting blonde highlights grow out

09. Studying hip-hop album covers to work on his scowl

08. Manlier earrings

07. Using sandpaper and gravel to roughen up supple hands

06. Practicing intimidating poses in his full length mirror, growling

05. Having peach fuzz dyed black

04. Punching self in face, rehearsing bar fight story

03. Putting a "Peeing Calvin" sticker on his Prius

02. Getting dragon tattoo over old one that said "I Heart LOLcats!"

01. Standing close to Chuck Wicks to look like Chuck Norris in comparison

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #23

Learn the rules so you can break them. Find out the generally accepted song forms, then you can change 'em up a little and still have it be mediocre enough to interest Nashville folks. This "learn 'em to break 'em" rule is a good maxim for everyday life as well: When you're sober, figure out where the traps usually are so later you can get to' up and still make it home without having to say the alphabet backwards if you know what I mean. Get your wife used to you coming in at 12 so she'll start drifting off about that time, then you can slip around up past 2 (Tiger ain't learned shiyatt). That's enough help. Figure this stuff out yourself. It took me years to get this pimpin' in the songwriting and sack shaking games.

Not actually written by John Rich.

_____Deserves a Sackpunch #6

Fangirl/Fanboy

You don't really like music that much in general. You just picked an artist,usually a solo artist, based on their "it factor" and a song or two that really spoke to you and then you latched onto that artist. You bought just the singles at first and reviewed them with odd vigor on iTunes, not even sure yourself where the manic fire came from. Then you bought the albums, then the t-shirt, then the fanny pack. You had crossed a line.

You joined the message board somewhere along the way and were indoctrinated into the "Cult of _____." There you learned that no artist shall come before _____. Especially artists who are similar in style, voice, look or success to _____. In fact, you shall use every opportunity to shoot arrows (verbally - well, txt-ually) at that artist. Fans of that artist are jealious of _____ (sic). Also, you must use all facets of technology to follow and defend _____. Alerts are sent to your inbox anytime _____'s name is mentioned in a blog post. Was it a positive mention? Yes. Agree! Agree! Agree! No. Jealious! Jealious! Jealious! (sic)

Once a fangirl of _____, you must hate the predetermined rival of _____. This is the most unbreakable rule of fight club.... err, fangirl-dom.

You must friend _____ on Facebook, listen to their music on Myspace (even though you already own a digital and physical copy of the album) and follow them on Twitter. Anytime they tweet, you must reply. After a while, you must reply with the belief that this person knows you and reads all YOUR tweets. If they tell a joke, LOL! If they reveal news, OMG! Because they read all replies themself and love to hear from you and you alone, oh obsessed one. They are not creeped out AT ALL!

_____'s latest single is the best one yet. Their latest album takes it to another level. Their current tour is the awesomest tour in the history of the world. Their latest promo pics are NOT PHOTOSHOPPED! They got snubbed for that award! It's behind the scenes politics because he/she's so hot!!!

Uh oh, third single tanked. That's okay, new single from next album already released even though it's not very good because top songwriters are no longer pitching _____ their best material. Call all the radio stations and request that turd anyway. Program manager's never heard of it? Screw him!!!

Dropped from the label? Well, I still like _____. They'll get picked up by somebo.... huh, who was I talking about again? Oh, yeah... ____ is still pretty good, I just, you know... I listen to them sometimes, I guess.

Hey, who's singing that new song? Is she popular? Carrie who? Hmmm.

OMG URN4A SACKPUNCH!