If _____ Wrote a Christmas Song 2017

If Walker Hayes wrote a Christmas song

Need some joy in your stockin'? Well baby I gotcha

It's lit and it's bae and I ain't throwing shade

I Snapped you a clue, Word, hit me up too

We gone be totes chillin' this Christmas day

If Future wrote a Christmas song

You know it's enchanting baby, let it snow

Let it snow, let it snow

We here just waiting on santa, girl, so let it snow

Let it snow, let it snow

If Loretta Lynn wrote a Christmas song

Santa came home smelling like peppermint perfume

Lately he's been losing weight, doing Crossfit too

Heard he's got himself a little elf skank round the way

Well, Mrs. Santa's bout to bust that hussy in the face

If Mark Kozelek wrote a Christmas song

I watched a film about Venezuelan crop dusters

Under a chartreuse blanket on my veranda

Pondering what Belinda said last Christmas day

If Colt Ford wrote a Christmas song

Got that icy mud all up on my GMC

Alpines blasting Run DMC

Christmas in Hollis and Christmas in Macon

Woman at the crib got country ham bakin'

If Lemmy wrote a Christmas song

He's got a whip of leather

Skeleton reindeer crew

Snow or sunny weather

He's coming after you

Satan Clause, Satan Clause, 

Watch his black sleigh take flight

Satan Clause, Satan Clause,

Naughty or nice, you'll die tonight