By Jeremy Harris and Trailer
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10. Dismissal of their public intoxication charges
9. Joy (Joy is their third cousin, not “a feeling of great happiness”)
7. A “white” Christmas
6. Some extra Sudafed for their “sinus” issues
5. To graduate with the rest of their buddies on the bass fishing team
4. LED lights for the bumper, the mirrors, the roof, the wheel wells, everywhere… so the front of their truck can burn with the light of a million suns and blind oncoming traffic three counties away
3. For the front-squatted truck to become the new fad
2. Jason Isbell to write another heartfelt song they’ll never hear him sing live
1. A black friend, so they can say they have a black friend
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