Jun 30, 2023

Kid Rock’s White House Burns; Meth Lab Explosion Suspected

Country/rock star Kid Rock’s grandiose White House replica home burned overnight, and fire investigators say it appears to be due a meth lab explosion. Experts say the evidence was so substantial and certain that Rock, real name Bob Richey, was taken into custody on scene.

An inside source spoke to us off the record to share the absurdity of the circumstances. “The yard was just littered with burning cars up on blocks, chickens running for their lives, an outhouse, and a makeshift whiskey still.” said anonymous source Terry Jones, assistant fire investigator of Nashville, “It was the wildest thing I’ve seen since that John Rich fiasco.”


He went on to detail the source of the fire clearly being a corner utility room littered with broken beakers, metal piping, and a somehow unscathed pile of Sudafed. “There was also a half-melted metal door sign that said ‘Meth Lab,’ so we’ve pretty much got him dead to rights,” said Jones. 


Back on record with the chief of police, Brittan Marks, we learned that an uninjured Richey was taken into custody without incident, wearing only a pair of flip flops and a “Hillary Lied” t-shirt. He was processed and bonded out a few hours later. 


“With a net worth in the millions, we’re not sure why Mr. Richey would need to be cooking up meth, you know,” said a bemused Chief Marks, “Maybe he was just trying to live up to his outlaw reputation.”


At press time, Mr. Rock was tweeting and working on plans for his new ten-story ass shaped house on the same hill.


#fakenews #satire

39 comments:

  1. This was funny as hell

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  2. hope you and youre crossdresser are happy together

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  3. you are a racist pig

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  4. youre comments on gays and slures are not funny it takes one to know one

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  5. god will punish those who goes against his words

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  6. we all know you are still on meth too

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  7. you and youre crossdresser make a great couple

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  8. grabbing youre crotch on stage us gays would never touch that for all the money in the world

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  9. we all know youre gay just admit it come out of the closet you racist pig you

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  10. you make us gays sick to oure stomachs

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  11. we know you werent just sucking down beer too you were sucking down something else too

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  12. that comment was when you had the crossdresser at youre home on the bar

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  13. hope you like all the comments

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  14. my dog wouldnt even let you touch him

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  15. keep doing youre meth you might not wake up someday

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  16. take chemistry and science next time you stupid mf

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  17. you dont know what the word love means do you kid rock

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  18. youre meth is going to take everything away from you

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  19. god givith and he can taketh away too

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  20. hope you liked big bubba while you were in jail too

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  21. he fell in love with you

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  22. if i stepped on you i would throw away my shoes

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  23. you have youre head so far up youre a you will never see daylight again

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  24. hope you like the smell

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  25. we gays have some white stuff for you not the powdered kind either

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  26. we know you like it

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  27. we know you like assof all shapes

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  28. we know you like guns too sometimes they go off in youre face too

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  29. that aint powder burns on youre face either

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  30. kid rock is a piece of shit

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  31. he is a cheater and a liar

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  32. he is a crack addict too

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  33. i woundnt go to one of his concerts if he paid me too

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  34. he is a worthless piece of shit

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  35. kid rock is doing and makeing meth still yet

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  36. hes having meth parties right now

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  37. I think kid rock kicks ass and I'm pretty sure these comments are about as fake as the story above, Kid Rock is America's bad ass ......Bob Cool

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  38. Keep on rocking rock

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