Kid Rock’s White House Burns; Meth Lab Explosion Suspected

Country/rock star Kid Rock’s grandiose White House replica home burned overnight, and fire investigators say it appears to be due a meth lab explosion. Experts say the evidence was so substantial and certain that Rock, real name Bob Richey, was taken into custody on scene.

An inside source spoke to us off the record to share the absurdity of the circumstances. “The yard was just littered with burning cars up on blocks, chickens running for their lives, an outhouse, and a makeshift whiskey still.” said anonymous source Terry Jones, assistant fire investigator of Nashville, “It was the wildest thing I’ve seen since that John Rich fiasco.”

He went on to detail the source of the fire clearly being a corner utility room littered with broken beakers, metal piping, and a somehow unscathed pile of Sudafed. “There was also a half-melted metal door sign that said ‘Meth Lab,’ so we’ve pretty much got him dead to rights,” said Jones. 

Back on record with the chief of police, Brittan Marks, we learned that an uninjured Richey was taken into custody without incident, wearing only a pair of flip flops and a “Hillary Lied” t-shirt. He was processed and bonded out a few hours later. 

“With a net worth in the millions, we’re not sure why Mr. Richey would need to be cooking up meth, you know,” said a bemused Chief Marks, “Maybe he was just trying to live up to his outlaw reputation.”

At press time, Mr. Rock was tweeting and working on plans for his new ten-story ass shaped house on the same hill.

#fakenews #satire