Jun 26, 2011

Top 10 Country Songs Most Soccer Moms Would Not Be Fond Of

Here's a countdown of 10 country songs that would not weigh easily on the sensibilities of most mainstream country radio listeners (now anyway - the Wagoner song made it to #2 in 1967). Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Can you imagine this playing on the radio after Taylor Swift's latest ditty? Me neither.

Hank and pals scream in honor of a "music artist" who frequently took a dump on stage and played in it (to put it nicely) and was also known for wallowing in self-drawn blood (to put it nicely again).

08. "Holding On So Tight" - Gary Floater (portion of the song at this link)
This ode to "punching the clown" might not rest easy on radio programmers' palates.

Lucinda has never been bashful about middle-aged sex. "Now I've got your sweetness all up in my hair"... TMI Lucy!

Unreasonable figures?

Pink champagne, candlelight, surprising the wife (and her lover ...with a knife!!)

Rodney's a born romantic, huh ladies?

03. "Delia's Gone" - Johnny Cash
This shockingly cold and violent song from the Man in Black is all the more disturbing because of who it's from.

I guess if you're as ugly as Coe, you've got to lay on the charm thick.

Hank returns to the countdown with this wordy-durd filled rant against Nashville, offering to put male and female sexual organs back into country music (were they ever there in the first place?) The D-word and the C-word get ample airtime.

Jun 25, 2011

YouTube Junk: Limp Bizkit

Yep, they're back and nothing's changed. Watch this only to laugh at the (possibly intentional but probably not) self-parodying nature of the video and marvel at the utterly hookless mess of a song. Worst Comeback of the Year? Probably.

Jun 22, 2011

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Alan Jackson - Long Way to Go









I was excited to see that Alan Jackson, the singer of the wonderful gospel album Precious Memories, had a new song out. Then I listened to "Long Way to Go."

A few words come to mind as this wretched song plays: hypocrite, backslider, Pharisee, lip server. Apparently this great gospel music singer also has a side-career as a forsaken secular country singer.

I had hoped in my heart of hearts that the "long way to go" was the narrow path through this sinful world, but my hopes were dashed on the salty rim of a bug-ridden margarita glass. This song is about drinking alcoholic beverages to rid the mind and heart of "women that had done us wrong."

Lord, what are we to do when even the supposed "good" people of the entertainment world also dabble in the humanistic pursuits of this mortal coil? Who are we to look to? I fear for a world where young mop-haired girl singing about "baby baby baby" is held up as a paragon of virtue. Et tu Alan Jackson?

Alcohol has no good use other than cleansing barbed wire fence wounds. Let's take a look at some notable Biblical examples of the evils of His Satanic Majesty's beverage of choice.

"Noah became drunk; the result was immorality and family trouble" Genesis 9:20-26

"Nabal died after a drunken spree" 2 Samuel 13:28-29

And the most important verse in the entire Bible:
"If a Christian brother is a drinker, do not associate with him." 1 Corinthians 5:11

Mr. Jackson, I de-associate myself with you, brother. Alcohol is not a solution, it is the problem. It leads to stronger drugs. It makes people enjoy Jason Aldean music. It causes accidents forewarned by "Hey y'all watch this." It led to my daughter's shotgun marriage due to her impregnation.

Damn you evil spirits. And I pray for you, Alan.

F

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails