Cliché Country Love Song (satire)

Cliché Country Love Song

I met a farmer's daughter wearing cut off jeans

Tan lines, southern drawl, long and lean

Took her to a movie then the Dairy Freeze

She moved in closer on my old bench seat

She said her daddy didn't like my kind of guy

I asked "What the hell you mean?" with an evil eye

She said I was an outlaw and my thinkin's slow

So I kicked her ass out on the side of the road

This ain't no cliche country love song

If you're thinkin' cards and flowers, you're thinkin' wrong

Love is good, but it rarely goes

Like it does on Clearchannel radio

Hell no, this ain't no cliche country love song

I married a woman who was my best friend

Didn't have much money, but forever to spend

We saved what we had for a house on the hill

A porch swing to kiss in, a garden to till

Till one day the doctor gave us the bad news

I told her, "Baby I'm gonna love you through"

She said "Boy, you're the one's gonna need the love,

"Cause I'm gettin' gone if you can't get it up"

This ain't no cliche country love song

If you're thinkin' I'm love's martyr, you're thinkin' wrong

Love is good, but it rarely goes

Like it does on Clearchannel radio

Hell no, this ain't no cliche country love song

This ain't no cliche country love song

If you're thinkin' cards and flowers, you're thinkin' wrong

Love is good, but it rarely goes

Like it does on Clearchannel radio

Hell no, this ain't no cliche country love song

Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week

Country Radio Bingo

Print it out. Turn on the radio. Use spent shotgun shells as chips. Enjoy!

Rare late Johnny Cash footage

Here's an hour-long video of Johnny Cash's last appearance at The Carter Ranch. He's frail of body here, but strong of spirit. Some of this is a little difficult to watch because his famously powerful voice is showing the strain of his years, but it's still an important piece of footage that reminds you of Cash's greatness.

Parody of Eric Church's "Drink in My Hand"

Republican

(Satire & Parody of Eric Church's "Drink in My Hand")

Early Monday morning I'm takin' them bribes

I don't do much work but still I climb climb climb

Boss man should make that money any way he can

Let's extend those tax cuts, I'm a Republican

Talk it up, I'll vote it down

If you're for it I'm against it if your skin is brown

No need for explainin' to the simple man

As if you didn't know, I'm a Republican

Yeah, my hands they may be bloody but man I love war

Drop a big daisy cutter through a Muslim's door

Chill down the Cristal, warm up the band

Time to celebrate cause I'm a Republican

Talk it up, I'll vote it down

Who really needs all these poor people around?

5 4 3 2 1 I'm a Haliburton man

In case you didn't know, I'm a Republican

Make me want to go ooh ooh ooh when I see smoke stacks

Painting that pretty sky-blue to a lovely shade of black

If you want to talk to me, buddy here's the plan

Get the kickbacks kickin', I'm a Republican

Grow it up, I'll cut it down

Turn an old-growth forest into dry, bare ground

Be my Mrs. Reagan, I'll be your Gipper, Nan

Just say no to drugs!, I'm a Republican

I'd rather give gays the chair than a pair of rings,

Cause it makes me feel funny when Elton sings

I'll roll out that ol' red carpet long as you're not Mexican,

I love Jesus, not Hay-soos, I'm a Republican

Talk it up, I'll vote it down

Obama is okay except the half that's brown

I turn on the Fox News station, so I know the plan

We're in this together, I'm a Republican

Yea let's send all of the liberals to live in Iran,

Then we'll bomb 'em all to hell, I'm a Republican

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