Archives: What Your Country Jack-o-Lantern Says About You

ORIGINALLY POSTED OCT 26, 2016

 

 Someone who lives here wears an electronic ankle bracelet.
We're handing out candy truck nutz. 

 We're voting for Gary Johnson.
We're listening to Willie.
We might ask for some of your candy.

 Mom can't stand Miranda Lambert.
And she's drunk on White Zinfandel.

 An intelligent and sophisticated person lives here.
Will not give candy to anyone dressed up like Luke Bryan.

We hand out organic candy.
But some of it might be Molly or LSD.

You better have your shots up to date.

New(ish) Video / John R. Miller / "Press On"

The Lost Randy Travis Horror Movie

Denver in Colorado

Dan + Shay to Dress as Country Duo for Halloween

Pop duo Dan + Shay is looking for costumes for a Halloween party this weekend. They’ve already chosen the theme - country singers - but they’re now searching for the perfect homespun attire, visiting Goodwills and western wear outlets across Nashville. 

“I did a Google image search for ‘country singer’ and it came back with lots of cowboy hats and boot-cut jeans and stuff,” says Shay Mooney. “That’s so foreign to me - it’s always enlightening to see how other cultures live!” Dan Smyers tries on a huge foam cowboy hat but quickly returns it to the rack. “If they had it in a trucker hat style maybe.”

The Dan + Shay wardrobe usually includes bright colors and stripes, tailored pants, and hip casual wear. The aesthetics of country music fashion are a world away from their typical flair, but they’re digging it. “Ha, they call this a nudist suit, I believe,” laughs Thomas, holding up a rhinestone and gold beaded purple jacket. “I think old country stars like Buck Owings and Hank Wilson [sic] used to wear these… they had so much drip!”

After a couple of hours, the two have narrowed their selections down to an all black Johnny Cash-inspired ensemble or a Brooks and Dunn combo. “How did Garth have time to be in a duo and have a solo career at the same time?” asks a confused Smyers. 

Slowly coming to a consensus for the B&D garb at press time, Dan + Shay seem excited about the impact they’ll make when they step into the party as someone so different from themselves. “They won’t even recognize us in these fits.”

 Yes, this is a reboot of an old story.