These exist....

Gary Levox earrings....

Quite a bargain too!

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist on Kenny Chesney's "Somewhere with You"

Kenny Chesney - Somewhere With You

Mr. Chesney's newest smash hit country song sounds suspiciously like what we used to call "pop music" back when my pals and I used to cruise the Sonic after Bible drills, bobbing our heads. It seems at the very least insincere, and more to the point, dishonest to release this song to the country music radio stations. As if the sin of false presentation were not enough, Kenneth's song is a veritable snake nest of immoral behaviors. The first two lines reveal the main character's jealousy and envy over his ex-girlfriend (we assume it's a girl, but one cannot be too certain in this morally loose era) courting a new love interest. These two sins of course lead to yet another, consumption of old Scratch's mind altering beverages. Next, he goes on to look back on his time with this ex and he has the gall to reveal to us, fair reader, that he went on a date to the amusement park without an adult present to make sure this couple didn't cavort around in the haunted house or touch uncovered skin together at any point of their ride on the Tilt-a-whirl. Next line, next sin - he let a (presumable) female drive him around. The man is to be at the helm in any facet of any relationship, thus saith my Lord. And now saith my Lord, this couple committed sexual sin, because Kenneth Chesney got them a hotel room and you just know what happened on those bodily fluid encrusted sheets. My chest is tightening up, I don't mind telling you …and so is my bbb… never mind.

I'll just summarize the rest of this vile song: Mr. Chesney is sleeping around with all manner of whores in an attempt to fill up an empty space in his soul. Does he not know that this longing is for the King of Kings… not the queen of his four poster? My angina is really acting up right now… but please, unless the real damnation of your eternal soul is something you desire, don't give this song a second listen.

F-

5 Rock Album Covers - Parodied

Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week

Screw the Working Man

A satire lyric...

Screw the Working Man

This one's for you Mr. Mack truck guy

Popping pills on your cross-country drive

Skipping weigh stations, skipping sleep

Lot lizard humping, ass-riding creep

Some folks they might honor you

But here is my one finger salute

I say screw the working man

Getting away with all he can

Givin' his time but not a damn

So I say screw the working man

This one's for you on the graveyard shift

Working to support your seven kids

Join the union, ain't gotta do shit

Take fifteen breaks to smoke and bitch

Some folks, well they might say "cheers!"

But I'd like to kick your rear

I say screw the working man

Getting away with all he can

Givin' 40 hours but not a damn

So I say screw the working man

Bridge

You boys in blue know what I mean

On patrol at the Krispy Kreme

You teachers having sex in class

You farmers sitting on your ass

Office workers surfing the porn

Oil rig workers soiling our shores

You make this great nation a wreck

But thanks Obama, for my monthly check

We say screw the working man

Who won't give folks like me a hand

Me and the Prez got different plans

Yeah, we say screw the working man

Yeah, screw you!