Oct 3, 2012

Top 10 Potential New CMT Shows


10. I'm a Douchebag….Get Me Out of Here!
Supposed country singers forced to live in an actual rural setting in southern Mississippi during the sweltering heat and humidity of July. Trucks must be used for work only. No cell service. 50 miles from the nearest can of Axe. Can they survive???

09. Kick It In The City
Country fans wearing tight t-shirts and skinny jeans placed in an urban setting at night, forced to fight their way out. Can they live up to all their big talk on YouTube?

08. Shake it For Me
Melissa Peterman stars in this new sitcom. In it, she's a middle-aged would-be Luke Bryan groupie who suffers from Tourette's Syndrome.

07. Larry the Cable Guy Theatre
Tom Whitney Jr., Larry's brother, hosts this weekly presentation of Larry the Cable Guy's stand-up specials, skits and movies (except Cars and Cars 2).

06. The White Trash Price is Right
"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair hosts this show which brings strippers, trailer park perverts, meth-heads and the like together to play games and bid on items like low-rider trucks, Brantley Gilbert CD collections, tickets to WWE events and cases of Old Milwaukee.

05. Toddlers and Typicals
Hunting dads teach their 2-4 year old sons and daughters the art of hunting whitetail bucks. Watch rugrats who can barely walk scurry up 30-foot deer stands or follow a blood trail through the thickets of central Tennessee. Hear fatherly comments like "Aim for his neck next time son! I know you can't even hold up the gun, but dammit, you gut-shot him!"

04. Are You More Smarter Then a Brantley Gilbert Fan?
This game show tests the wits, spelling skills and grammar ability of average folks against a motley crew of slack-jawed Brantley Gilbert fans. Sample questions: How many gallons will a 25-gallon F-150 gas tank hold?
What color does this guy sound? (audio quiz)
What is the definition of "affliction?"

03. Duck Poachers
Groups of drunken Arkansas residents compete to see who can double the legal bag limit before being caught by the game warden.

02. Pearl Pawn Stars
Follows the day-to-day operations of a Pearl, Mississippi pawn shop owned by Louie "Pops" McCall, his son/nephew Jimmy Dale McCall and a rotating cast of ne'er–do–wells. See them buy or haggle on items like a stolen septic tank, panties autographed by Jeff Bates, an original copy of Smokey and the Bandit 3 on beta and other treasures.


01. Meth Dynasty
Series introduces the Gilberts, a fun-loving Louisiana bayou family living the dark side of the American dream as they operate a thriving methamphetamine business while navigating through madcap adventures, trying to avoid the cops and keeping ahead of rival pushers.

New Jason Aldean Ad in Billboard Magazine!


Oct 2, 2012

Borchetta Sucks eCard



http://www.savingcountrymusic.com/scott-borchetta-on-country-i-really-dont-care-defines-it-as-youth

Disclaimer: FTM does not advocate physical harm against Scott Borchetta or wish Scott Borchetta physical harm, only mental anguish.

Album Review: The Pollies - Where the Lies Begin


In recent years, the term "indie rock" has fallen out of favor with me. Maybe it's the hipsters of that scene. Maybe it's Pitchfork's gushing over bands named after animals. Maybe it's the obtuse lyrics, the sung in a can vocals or the incessant krautrock riffs used over and over. Whatever it is, I've moved away from the coldness and elitism of that musical classification.

So here are The Pollies, a band which can probably best be described as indie rock, with their new album Where the Lies Begin, and I have to reconsider. There's nothing cold, obtuse or elitist about this sound. It's open, inviting, passionate and tuneful. It's twangy, but not southern rock. Soulful, but not R&B.

The Pollies fit somewhere in the stratosphere of Drive-by Truckers, Alabama Shakes and Lucero, as a band with their hearts on their sleeves, but their music not so easy to define. I'll just call Where the Lies Begin good music.

There are bits of country, folk, garage rock, Muscle Shoals soul (the band is from there), and other genres. The songwriting is fluid and straight-forward, never difficult to grasp, yet layered enough to allow for interpretation and personal emotional response. There's nothing pretentious about The Pollies' brand of indie rock. It's a big tent that anyone's welcome under and most readers of FTM would probably appreciate. Not immediately, mind you (which is a good thing), but this band definitely grows on you.

My favorite track is probably the epic "Ashes of Burned Out Stars" but you can't go wrong on this album. Highly recommended to fans of any of the artists I mentioned plus Jason Isbell, Uncle Lucius or Lee Bains III and the Glory Fires.

Side note: What's in the water in Alabama lately??? It's becoming quite the musical hotspot.


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Stream the album here (or purchase for only $5!!): http://www.polliesband.com/

The Most Interesting Douche in the World


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