Lyrical Satirical: Ho in Honky Tonk

“Ho” in Honky Tonk

©2012 FTM Satire

You ain’t from around here, is ya

I can tell by your frosted hair

And your eyeing that skirt

Yeah, she’s a real flirt

But let me warn you ‘bout that one there

Chorus

She puts the ho in honky tonk

She dirty dances to the slow dance songs

You’ll need prescriptions if she get whats she wants

She puts the ho in honky tonk

Said you can handle your business

Ha, that’s what she’s gonna say

She’s been with every guy

You can spy with your eye

Even ol’ Virgil there, and he’s gay

She puts the ho in honky tonk

She booty dances to a hurtin’ songs

You’ll have a rash if you get what you want

She puts the ho in honky tonk

Bridge

If you value your dignity

And your health, don’t be a fool

She goes down like Hennessy

Gets around like these bar stools

She puts the ho in honky tonk

Givin’ up that badonkadonk

You’ll need a clinic if she get whats she wants

She puts the ho in honky tonk

Lyrical Satirical: Taylor, Maybe It's You

Maybe It's You

(C)2012 FTM

If your fairy tales are more like old Greek tragedies

If your Prince Charming's always Mr. Wrong

And all of your love stories end on TMZ

Just more fodder for your whiny songs

Chorus

Maybe it's you

Who should get the blame

Maybe you like standing in the rain

Look inside yourself

And you'll see it's true

Can't always be them so maybe it's you

If every break-up ends up as a clever rhyme

If every star you meet, you fall in deep

And gossip mags make millions off of your behind

Surely you know what you sow you reap

Maybe it's you

Who should get the blame

Maybe you just get off on the pain

Look inside yourself

And you'll see it's true

Can't always be them so maybe it's you

Bridge

It can't be coincidence

Just a mean financial plan

Who's gonna be your next number one

Cause they'll never be your man

Maybe it's you

Who's never going to change

If every different romance ends up just the same

Girl you never grow up

Billboard's got the proof

Who's treacherous? Just maybe it's you

Yeah maybe it's you

Lyrical Satirical: Jesus in My Truck

Jesus in My Truck

©2012 FTM Lyrics

If Jesus showed up at my house

And wanted to go ridin' round

I'd tell him hop on in

My Chevy with the big ol' tires

Man, it couldn't ride much higher

I'd play some Cash for Him

Chorus

And we'd roll with the windows down

Them gravel roads outside of town

Then throw a line and catch some bream

And He could feed all of my friends

And turn water to Miller Lite

Nobody'd be in the mood to fight

And my pickup would never get stuck

With Jesus in my truck

I'd introduce Him to my girl

Thank Him for cut off jeans and squirrels

And Skoal and camoflauge

We'd watch the Ole Miss Rebels play

And maybe once they'd win a game

Then we'd go haul some logs

And we'd roll with the windows down

Them red dirt roads outside of town

Then throw a line and catch some bream

And He could feed all of my friends

And turn water to Miller Lite

Nobody'd be in the mood to fight

And my pickup would never get stuck

With Jesus in my truck

Bridge

He wouldn't pick no city boy

No hipster with no Prius car

Cause Jesus likes to keep it real

In a full-size with a chrome roll bar

And we'd roll with the windows down

Them gravel roads outside of town

Then throw a line and catch some bream

And He could feed all of my friends

Then we'd go out and meet my folks

Maybe He'd bring back my ol' dog, Smoke

Man I tell you it wouldn't suck

Truck no, it would never get stuck

With Jesus in my truck