Got No Fiddle
©2011 FMT Parody
Crankin' out Captain Crunch, A Lunchable for my son's lunch
Starbucks coffee, It's Friday, I'll wear jeans
To work, work, half a day, husband brings in most our pay
But I'm on 40 milligrams of Paroxitene
Radio's on Country 98
Hear a catchy song that sounds so great
It's got no fiddle, got no steel
Sounds so fine with my hands on the wheel
Keep this girl happy, don't want any tear drops
Got no fiddle, sounds so pop
Friday night, here we go, Applebees and a picture show
Chicken wrap, cake for four, go see Thor
Drivin' home with the radio, crankin' riffs from Taylor Swift
Little Ms. Wonderful gives me a lift
The whole family's singing along
To an authentic country song
That's got no fiddle, got no steel
Sounds so fine when she whines and squeals
Keep this girl happy, don't want any tear drops
Got no fiddle, sounds so pop
Layin' out, back yard
Country music on my iPod
Hear some twang, hit "skip"
Lady A's a better fit
They've got no fiddle, got no steel
Sounds so fine as my skin starts to peel
Keep this girl happy, don't want any tear drops
Got no fiddle, sounds so pop
No, it's got no fiddle, got no steel
Sounds so fine, good's all I want to feel
Keep this girl happy, don't want any tear drops
Got no fiddle, sounds so pop
Be fake. Hell, y'all saw me on Celebrity Apprentice being all polite and thoughtful and mature… lolz, fooled ya ass big time. I'm the champ, cheesed*cks! Anyhow, some say you have to write what you've lived. Bullsh*t! I ain't been poor since I was a kid, but some nights when I run out of cash and can't find my Amex Black card and the nearest ATM is too far to stumble to… well, I kinda know what being poor is like then. I ain't ever been dumped but I can imagine what that must feel like to poor limprods like you. Use your imagination …and I don't mean for thinking about the MILF down the street with the Lexus SUV who you'd like to have lick frosting off your…. never mind. Like they say in the classic Caddyshack, be the ball. If I only wrote about what I know, you'd think I was a rapper… bling bling bling bitchez!
