Dec 22, 2010

10 Worst Country Singles of 2010

My first entry in this year's "best of" series is actually a "worst of." Here are what were, in my estimation, the most terrible country songs released as singles this year. They're in no particular order as I could not discern one piece of crap's artistic worth from another. Click the song titles to listen, if you dare.

George Strait - The Breath You Take
The King finally showed a crack in the armor. This terrible ballad with a downright "bad" melody featured Hallmark card lyrics and awful dirge-like verses.

Jason Aldean - Crazy Town
A throwaway album cut that somehow made it to the airwaves and even more astoundingly, made it to #3 #2 on the charts. Just goes to show that country radio listeners can't get enough of crap. It's not all the radio programmers' faults.

The Band Perry - Hip to My Heart
As far from country as one could hear on country radio this year, this bouncy, aggravating tune was a poor introduction to a band whose folksy "If I Die Young" nearly made up for the crappiness of this song. Sample lyrics: "I like your lips like I like my Coca-Cola / oh how it pops and fizzes"...really?

Rodney Atkins - Farmer's Daughter
Just as ham-fisted and unimaginative as nearly every Atkins single that came before and to top it off, this was a Hail Mary tag-on to an underperforming album to help it sell a few more copies. Weak.

I hate "Fancy" …despise it. That said, I can respect the art of it. This, likely Reba's worst single to date, not so much. Reba drops knowledge about texting, Tweeting, Facebooking and sounds absurd doing it. It's not that she has to "act her age," she just needs to not be so obvious about trying to stay current, in sound and lyrical content. It just doesn't work for her.

I really don't get the appeal of this song. It's not country, it's not that catchy, the chorus is just a bunch of stupid "ohh ohhh's" and my nine-year-old could write more engaging lyrics. Still, people continue to defend this song against the evils of someone who'd dare review it. Sure, opinions are like a-holes, but people THIS IS NOT A GOOD SONG - I bet Tim even hates it.

Aaron Lewis - Country Boy
Read here. Still haven't changed my mind.

LoCash Cowboys - Here Comes Summer
Sorry guys. FTM blog readers and winners/losers of 2009 Farcie Award for worst new group released this track to cash in on the coming of the warmer months to no avail. Putting "hotter" where there should have been a rhyme for "summer" was a major problem. The rest of the song not being any good was another.

Fast Ryde - Top Down
LoCash's main competition in the up-and-coming hip-hop-loving country group category, Fast Ryde upped the ante with autotuner for this listless summer anthem that nobody sang along to. At least LoCash's song tried a little.

The King of Douchebags continued his run of terrible sans-Big Kenny song releases with this stupid "look how country I am" tune. Tip to Rich: Call Big. Write songs. Release trashy guilty pleasure album. Alone, you're just guilty (of putting out terrible music).

Dishonorable Mention:
Lady Antebellum - Our Kind of Love
It isn't that this song is all that terrible, just boring. It's pretty much a microcosm of what's wrong with country radio. Uninspired, middle-of-the-road, entirely inoffensive…. entirely pointless radio friendly song.

20 comments:

  1. right on .....Farmer's Daughter kinda grew on me but that does not change the fact that is a dumb, poorly written song

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  2. Trouble is, when I decide I hate a song, I then meet the writer, who turns out to be a nice person. Not all nice people write bad songs...but...

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  3. Anon 2, this is no indictment of the songwriters, just the songs. Not all talented people always write good songs. Honestly, I'd be happy (well, at least my wallet would be happy) to have written any of these.

    10 Pound Hammer, thanks for the info. Just proves my point even more.

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  4. I'm surprised that I disagree with many of these. I like "Turn on the Radio" - its my favorite Reba single since "Sweet Music Man" back in 2002 or so. And trying to stay current is a good thing, in my book. Twitter and texting certainly isn't for the young only; old farts do it too. I'd rather Reba stay current - even in an "obvious" way than to see her make music that winds up sending her to branson. I like "Felt Good On My Lips" too": no, its not that country, but I prefer my country with only a little twang, and this fits the bill. Its not an awesome song by any means but its a decent single. Far better than many other songs. ... I think Josh Thompson and his awful "Way Out Here" song deserves to be on the list; its far worse than "Hip To My Heart" and "Farmer's Daughter" Hip To My Heart is inane and "Farmer's Daughter" cliched, but Thompson's song is ignorant, morally offensive and has little redeeming features. Also worse is the manipulative, thoughtless "Soldiers and Jesus" by James Otto. I can stand the Band Perry and Atkins; they make country music look silly. I can't stand Otto and Thompson, they make country music look retrograde, ignorant, and morally bankrupt.

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  5. Be careful, Trailer. Reba's fans attack anyone who dare criticize her for singing about tweeting and texting. Get ready for a whole lot of "Well, what DO you want from her then?" and all that crap. But I guess if anyone can handle that, it would have to be you!

    There are one or two songs on this list that I would call guilty pleasures, but I pretty much agree with everything you said about these songs. It's especially disappointing that a George Strait single received a well-deserved spot on this list.

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  6. NOT listening to the radio in the past 8 months, I've not heard these songs but LOVE your critiques regardless. Funny shit!

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  7. Ben foster , why is it that i see your FRICKIN name everytime i see someone talkin about reba's turn on the radio song, you really piss me off

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  8. Maybe Reba's fans attack people who criticize her for referencing twitter and texting because the criticism is so silly. Non fans criticize it too - I mentioned that "Turn on" is one of the few Reba songs I've liked since 2002. I'm not much of a Reba fan but "Turn on Your Radio" is good music.

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  9. Aside from "Felt Good On My Lips," it's hard to argue with this list although "Top Down" was fun for me.

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  10. Look, foul-mouthed Reba fans, if you wanna say "FU," go ahead, but we try to keep things PG-13 around here, so I'll delete every post with actual four-letter words worse than damn.

    And thanks for the comments everybody; I still don't get the appeal of the Tim song though.

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  11. I agree with all, The Band Perry's is the only one that grew on me, but it's still the weakest track on their very solid debut.

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  12. "I bet Tim even hates it."

    When I first heard the song I swore that it was sabotage on his part since he's so ticked off at Curb. He can't be serious with that mess, can he?

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  13. I feel so much shame for being a Reba fan when reading these comments. I always call Carrie Underwood's fans for crazed fanbots, but I'm sad to say that my dear Reba's fans aren't any better.

    Oh, and "Turn On The Radio" blows.

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  14. I don't understand why Reba, Tim and Geogre are on here. And why Carrie's Mama's Song isn't.

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  15. Im a reba fan, i dont mind people giving their opinion but turn on the radio is an okay song, i just wish she released maggie creek road instead. Its SO MUCH better. Plus i agree with DS, carrie underwood's mamas song is absolutely terrible and should be on this list.

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  16. And trailer, no reba fan said FU or cursed anyone, noone even said anything bad about this list

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  17. Okay, okay... it's possible someone was posing as a Reba fan and said FU. I'll give you that. But who would pretend to be a Reba fan? Anyway, yeah... that Carrie song is pretty rancid. It probably deserves to be among the 12 worst of the year.

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  18. Re: 'Felt Good On My Lips'. Good observations, Trailer and Blake. I remember thinking about a year ago, during that whole 3rd Greatest Hits controversy, that Tim should pull a Johnny Cash and release something like 'Chicken In Black'.

    Ditto on the list too.

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  19. I agree. Boring, boring, boring. Also I hate the Sunday Night Football song by Carrie Underwood. The screeching hurts my ears.

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