Nov 16, 2009
She's Countrier: A Satire
This is a send-up of all the "my woman is a real country gal" songs... (She's Country in particular)
She's Countrier
v1
She was breach born in a Silverado
Raised in shed in a backwoods hollow
Fed cold collards, cheese and pimento
Smelling pig crap every time the wind blows
Lift
Yeah, we're from the same bloodline
But the reason that she's mine
Chorus
She's countrier
Than a muddy ol' fat sow
She's countrier
The girl can work a plow
You wanna see cornfed, better come see her
Your girl might be country but she's countrier
v2
She drinks moonshine like its faucet water
Wears cutoffs to church, no she shouldn't oughtta
She yells "Yeehaw!" everytime she sneezes
Got a rebel flag tatt right next to Jesus
Lift
That's right, the girl's got class
Can get a coon treed real fast
Chorus
She's countrier
Than a poison ivy rash
She's countrier
Name on every overpass
You wanna see a yokel, better come meet her
You might know some country but she's countrier
Bridge
She loves America and Camel cigarettes
All three of the Hanks and cooking up meth
She's countrier
Than ol' David Alan Coe
She's countrier
Than a homemade garden hoe
You gotta hike through kudzu to come see her
You've been to the country but she's countrier
Nov 15, 2009
Taylor Swift Top Ten
I'm declaring a 2-month moratorium on any humor related to Taylor Swift's voice, after this...
Top 10 Things You Didn't Know About Taylor Swift
10. Bites her nails... her toenails
09. Does a mean Stanky Legg
08. When people talk bad about her singing, she dries her tears with thousand dollar bills
07. Doesn't know who Tony Romo is
06. Really been getting into sludge metal lately
05. Her Yahoo password? FUCU69
04. Has filed a petition to get "OMG" into the 2010 Webster's Dictionary
03. Once jaywalked
02. Owns the entire Wrestlemania collection on Blu-Ray
01. Serious Copenhagen habit
Nov 14, 2009
Nov 13, 2009
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