If Sex-Related Country Songs Had Honest Titles

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy (Kenny Chesney)

would be

It Doesn't Take Much to Get in her Cut-off Jeans

She Cranks My Tractor (Dustin Lynch)

would be

She Gives This Redneck an Erection

Brown Chicken Brown Cow (Trace Adkins)

would be

Farm Animals Like to Watch Us Do the Nasty

Back That Thing Up (Justin Moore)

would be

Let's Go Doggy-Style...on a Hay Bale

She Thinks His Name Was John (Reba McEntire)

would be

She Used to Spread Like Parkay

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy (Big and Rich)

would be

Heres a Bumper Sticker Slogan, Let's F**k

Big Green Tractor (Jason Aldean)

would be

My Wang is Not the Right Color

I've Already Loved You In My Mind (Conway Twitty)

would be

I Rubbed One Out in the Bathroom Before I Introduced Myself

Nothing On But the Radio (Gary Allan)

would be

These Weight Loss Commercials are Really Killing My Boner

Bob That Head (Rascal Flatts)

would be

Give Me Oral, This is How You Sonic

Something To Do With My Hands (Thomas Rhett)

would be

Oooooh, Boobies

Morning Desire (Kenny Rogers)

would be

Morning Wood

I Melt (Rascal Flatts)

would be

ugh, never mind….