Zac Brown Band - The Owl
You tell everybody you like everything Zac Brown puts out no matter how he experiments, but in secret, you think this sucks.
Beyonce - Homecoming: The Live Album
You will taunt, threaten, curse, dox, and possibly inflict bodily harm upon anyone who says anything negative about this album, but otherwise you’re pretty nice.
Highwomen - s/t
You’re a strong, beautiful, independent woman and so is your significant other.
FGL - Can’t Say I Ain’t Country
You have a jacked up truck with exhaust stacks, fight with your girlfriend in public, and are drunk right now. Dad says your seventh year of community college is your last, graduation or not.
Maren Morris - Girl
You can’t get into the Highwomen album because it’s too country. You use way too many hashtags on Instagram.
Tyler Childers - Country Squire
You have a homemade bootleg live version of the album that’s “way better.” You sold a car out of your front yard for parts to get tickets to Sturgill and Tyler next year.
Puddle of Mudd - Welcome to Galvania
Wait, Puddle of Mudd still exists? You are a member of some guy in the band’s family.
Luke Combs - What You See is What You Get
Just gonna go out on a limb with this one and guess that you enjoy beer.
Vandoliers - Forever
You skate, fish, have purple hair, and are polite to your mama.
Zac Brown - The Controversy
You usually tell everybody you like everything Zac Brown puts out no matter how he experiments, but you gave up your fan club membership and started an anti-Zac Brown Facebook page after hearing this shit.
Post Malone - Hollywood’s Bleeding
You toss around words like ‘molly’ and ‘yeet’ but your 6th grade teacher doesn’t like you to say them in class.
----------
This is satire. Don't take it seriously.
Idea stolen from Medium.
No comments:
Post a Comment