Review Fail IV

I like to review songs and album as much as the next blogger, but sometimes it's just more fun to sit back and let the (ir)regular music fans do it...

(Actual unedited (except for space on occasion) iTunes reviews)

Gwynneth Paltrow - Country Strong

Great song!

(5 Stars)

by Ash33333

Everyone she is not becoming a country singer she played one in a movie. So for everyone who is freaking out about the state of Nashville today calm down, and go see the movie it's about the ups and downs of the industry so you may like it. And the song itself is good.

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Haha

(4 Stars)

by Sallyjoflundersenthethird

To whoever said Nashville was a state:

That was funny, you made me laugh.

Nashville is a city, sweetie. The capital of Tennessee. :)

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State of Nasvhille?

(3 Stars)

by lksdgd

Pretty sure they were talking about the "state of Nashville" meaning the condition of Nashville, "Honey".

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Justin Moore - s/t album

Best CD

(5 Stars)

by Samjam1210

This is country at it's finest, Justin Moore is going to be the next George strait. All the songs are good on this album!!

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Woa....*Girlish squeel*......Drooooool......This guy is gawjuz!!!!

(4 Stars)

by *ThatReviewerChickWhoHeartsChuckBass*

Omgomgomgomg! I almost fainted when i saw this guys face!!! he is sooooo hot!!! ok i like his songs. they are fun, but origional!Which is great!!!His voice kinda sounds like a few other artists, but besides that, the guys got talent!!impressive justin! ;D

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Soulja Boy - Blowing Me Kisses

lame

(1 Star)

by 1511561651

stupied

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Ron White - Drunk in Public

this is ok

(4 Stars)

by laxin54

this is ok but hes not as funny as dane cook

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Jamey Johnson - The Guitar Song

Taylor Swift is waaaaaay better

(1 Star)

by Tom Bradly

Srsly who likes this retardation ???

that's NOT country

Taylor Swift is the REAL country artist

worst album ever

can't wait for Speak Now

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boring!! pillow music!!

(1 Star)

by Ilikerealmusicnotthiscrap

Is everyone who reviewed this cd deaf? How could anyone like this cd? I got my cd free (thank god) What the hell happened to the old Jamey Johnson? This cd will put you to sleep. I only like 3 out of 25 songs. This has to be the worst country cd this year! jason aldean, justin moore and kevin fowler are REAL country singers. Jamey Johnson sold out. what happened to songs like "redneck side of me" & "ray ray's juke joint"? Now he sings stupid songs like "baby don't cry" & "macon"--WTF?. I used to like Jamey Johnson but now I wouldn't walk across the street to see him. Some people call this Real country music. I call this put me to sleep pillow music. I bet this cd will NEVER have a #1 hit. I'm going to use my cd's as beer coster's while I listen to REAL country singers who sing REAL country music, not one's that put me in a coma like this crap. WAKE UP PEOPLE!

Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week

5 Exceedingly Random Parody Album Covers

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #46

Today chil'ren, we gonna talk about rhyme. Sure, in some of those indie garbage genres, they don't even rhyme their lines but who listens to that crap besides sweatervest wearing pusswads? In real music, we rhyme. We rhyme love with above and heart with apart and we don't give a sh*t who's tired of the supposed clichés. Don't waste precious brain cells trying to come up with a unique rhyme, just go with the easy out, or stick an awkward line in there that was obviously just to fulfill the rhyme. Money talks, and my bank account backs up my bullsh*t. Now, I'm sorry we must be parted, but the bathroom calls 'cause I just farted.

*not actually written by John Rich

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio December 2010

The weather's getting cold and gray and so are the singles. Not a lot of up-tempos to be found. Normally that'd be fine with me - a welcome break from the happy happy joy joy - but too much of the same gets old. If this is a look into the music of the next month or two, load up on Red Bulls till spring. No Four Lokos though, please!

*click the links for listens of each song*

Josh Turner - I Wouldn't Be a Man

I've heard this before, but it's been a while so at least it's a "fresh ears" judgment. This is a nice cover of the 1989 Don Williams hit. I still prefer the original, but this is very strong.

A-

Loretta Lynn, Miranda Lambert and Sheryl Crow - Coal Miner's Daughter

The inclusion of Crow here is baffling to me and she adds little, but this isn't a bad take on the classic. Miranda is a perfect fit and Lynn is in superb voice.

A-

The Judds - I Will Stand By You

Meh. Bunch of boring inspirational platitudes. I've been more emotionally moved reading Hallmarks in the Target greeting card aisle. Don't call it a comeback; this is flat-out terrible.

F

Elvis - Suspicious Minds (2010 Viva Elvis Version)

Why mess with perfection? The original was much better; in fact, I prefer Dwight Yoakam's excellent cover to this. Pianos and crashing guitars do nothing for my 2nd favorite Elvis tune. Pointless.

C

The Harters - If I Run

This is a pleasant enough swelling pop country ballad in the vein of Lady Antebellum and Gloriana, but it's nothing new or remotely memorable.

C-

Kenny Chesney - Somewhere With You

People complaining about all of Chesney's "reminiscing" songs and beach anthems, take heed. This isn't one of those. It's also a different sound for Kenneth... AAA. Decent, but after it hits #3 or so on the charts and drops, nobody will request it again.

C+

Little Big Town - Kiss Goodbye

Speaking of Gloriana, this also sounds like them. I had to check the display to make sure it wasn't. Eh, I expect better from LBT, though the chorus is pretty moving.

B-

Lee Brice - Beautiful Every Time

This sounds like a country take on "Dock of the Bay," but more boring. Lee should branch out a little; this is too much in the same pocket as his previous hit... whatever that was called. Dull dull dull zzzz...

C

Gary Allan - Kiss Me When I'm Down

This is well written and decently sung. Less than I hope for from Allan though. He really needs to step it up before he becomes a B-List afterthought. Admittedly, all these low key songs are negatively coloring my perception of the individual tracks on this comp, but...

B-

Jamey Johnson - Playing the Part

One of the less exceptional cuts from The Guitar Song is still better than most everything else on this collection. It's probably too late for this song to make a dent in the charts, but it would be a breath of fresh air amongst the Flatts and Swifts.

B

Billy Currington - Let Me Down Easy

Billy's got such a good, good voice. This is a simple (low key) break-up song that brings nothing new or exciting to the table, but it's got some indefinable "it" factor going for it. And that voice...

B

The Randy Rogers Band - Steal You Away

I reviewed this song here.

B

Brett Eldredge - Raymond

I've heard a lot about this song, but this is my first time to hear it. Alzheimer's has been dealt with in country music before, but not this effectively. Brett's voice is fresh and emotive, a strong baritone. "Raymond" pulls all the right heartstrings, but you never feel like it's taking advantage of your sympathies. This is one of the strongest debut singles since Currington's "Walk a Little Straighter."

A

Joey + Rory - That's Important to Me

Simple and effective, but maybe too simple to find a large audience. I want good things for this talented duo/couple, but they're going to have to release harder hitting singles to make it in this market.

B-

Mark Cooke - Can't Cheat in a Small Town

Mark's voice isn't unique, but it's solid enough. The song is 90s sounding, well-written, but again... low key... and I'm drooling on my desk at this point. Must all winter releases be yawners?

C

Uncle Kracker w/Kid Rock - Good to Be Me

Here's an anomaly. A more upbeat, summery track in the midst of all these gray skies. Sure it's Uncle Kracker, but this is every bit as "country" as nearly every other song here. And I like it... it's a guilty pleasure. Bouncy, singable and possibly released at the perfect time to be alternative programming to all these other party poopers. Bite me; it ain't bad.

B+

Christian Kane - The House Rules

Apparently this guy is on some TV show I've never seen before. Whatever. He reminds me of Blake Shelton a little. This song is way more upbeat than most of the previous tunes. Wait... "you know they're gonna show 'em if they got 'em"?? This is pretty risque for the format. Oh no, a crowd sing-along at the end. That's a full letter grade off. Mmmm, not sure if I like this a ton, but it could be a hit.

C

Sarah Darling - With or Without You

A U2 cover... pretty cool. Glad it wasn't a cover of "Lemon." She's got a sweet voice. She better wail at the end with the "oh oh oh's" though. As low key winter releases go, this isn't bad at all. Don't care for the backing vocals much. A male contrast would have sounded better there. Ugh, no "oh oh oh's"! Letter grade off. Pretty good, but the song had no high point to really set it off.

B-