Aug 10, 2011

Brad Paisley Parody - "Rewind Me"

Rewind Me

(A Parody of Brad Paisley & Carrie Underwood’s “Remind Me”)


I didn’t care if I wasn’t cool

Songs about life and heartbroke fools

Cheatin’ and dyin’ and old barstools

What happened to three chords and the truth?

Now all my songs are sounding the same

As genres with completely different names

I miss the tunes I spun back then I wanna go back there again


Been so long bet you forget the things that you should expect

Rewind me, rewind me

Stop it with the pickup trucks, Old Hank is frowning from above

Rewind me, rewind me


Remember the Possum breaking your heart

Jerry Reed raising hell on his guitar

The Man in Black used to walk that line

But Nashville's gone and lost its spine


Do you remember how I used to sound

Before they upped the volume, put the fiddles down

Rewind me, dammit, rewind me


Where’s the country you used to love?

The grit and the twang that you miss so much

Rewind me, please please, rewind me


I want the steel to play

On me, country radio

Oh, if you still love me

Don't let heritage go


Won't you rewind me, rewind me


Do you remember the way it was?

Yeah, back when money wasn't the driving force

Rewind me

Yeah, rewind me

I didn't have anything to prove

Country's what you are not the words you use

Rewind me, oh, baby, rewind me


Yeah, you’d tune in to hear genuine hurt

Or drink with me at the bar after work

Rewind me


Wish you could rewind me


Oh, go on, rewind me, baby, rewind me

Yeah, I should be real as that Delta dirt

Oh, yeah, rewind me

Lord, rewind me

This is Not an Eric Church t-shirt design

Clearly, I'd never post an Eric Church t-shirt design here. I wouldn't want his legal team to send their robots after me. So, Pushkar at Grayzone.com, please consider this my removal of the Eric shirt (which isn't/wasn't actually a shirt, never made me a dime, and never cost Eric a dime).



Aug 8, 2011

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Rich O'Toole - Marijuana and Jalapenos









Trailer has me listening to a song about illicit drugs right after I wrote my sermon for Sunday? He is a twisted individual who needs counseling and prayer.

First a quick story. Last summer I discovered a water hose attached to the hydrant at my church so I followed it into the woods. There was another hose attached to that and another to that and so on. 150 yards down in the woods I came upon a crop of tall plants I didn't recognize. Being the shrewd individual I am, I figured if someone was watering it, it must be valuable. I don't want nobody making money off of my church besides Jesus, so I cut the plants down and pulled them out on tarps and loaded 'em in my truck. Before I pulled out of the parking lot to go put them in the dump, my son in law drove up with a wild look on his face. He asked what I had in the truck and I told him. He took a look and his eyes got wide. "That's weed, Larry!" he exclaimed. How he knew this I do not know, but I took him at his questionable word. "That's evil stuff, we should burn it" I told him. Despite his pleas to let him get rid of it himself, we took it down to the gravel pit and set it ablaze. We stood there watching it for a few minutes and soon found that we just couldn't leave. We started laughing and joking for a while. That was the only day I enjoyed the company of my son-in-law, proving mary wanna is an evil, evil drug. Needless to say, we both gained about 10 pounds in the next couple of days.

Anyhoo, any song that pledges its love of this disreputable botanical project of Satan himself is not to be listened to more than once. Drugs are bad, thus saith the Lord. And a drug that comes from Mexico and other subpar nations must be reeking with germs and dirt and siesta bugs. No wonder mary wanna makes you lazy!

This Tool fella must have quite an addiction to the wacky weed if he feels the need to broadcast it to impressionable young Texans wearing skull t-shirts with bottle openers in the hems. How they have the energy to throw their fists in the air and shout "whoo" after "burning a blunt" escapes me. After my prior incident, I just laid on the couch watching Swamp People and eating pizza bites for 12 straight hours. My wife nearly called in an exorcist.

Also, Mr. O'Toole says the two items mentioned in the title are his "two favorite things." Really, Richie? Really? What about Jesus? Where does he rank on the list? What about the love of a good Christian woman? What about hard work? Surely one can't receive all the nutrients they need from a hot pepper and a puff on a "reefer."

This is yet another dispicable, dirty, feeble-minded country music song. Jesus wept again when this perverse drivel was written and sung in a studio.

Cheech and Chong are to be pitied, not to be held up as some sort of "cannabis" deities.

The jalapeno part I'm okay with. It takes a lot of hot sauce to make mama's cooking taste good. Can I get a Amen?

Anyway, another review another
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