May 22, 2020

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Sam Hunt's Choice

Country Radio Station Sucked Into The Earth After Playing Two Women in a Row

West Memphis, AR – Popular country radio station KRAP FM 101.4 was destroyed amidst remarkable circumstances on Tuesday. No one was killed or injured but the station itself was a total loss.

Around 2:05 a.m., overnight DJ Carl Wellseen broke the long-standing unwritten rule at mainstream country radio of playing songs by two female artists in a row. Wellseen said he felt a slight rumble when he played the first track, Caylee Hammack’s “Small Town Hypocrite.” “I figured it was just thunder, there was a storm in the area so it didn’t even register.” said Wellseen.

After a commercial break for erectile dysfunction pills and an insurance company saying “we’re all in this together during these uncertain times,” Carl played Carrie Underwood’s current hit “Drinking Alone.” That’s when things got weird. 

“There was another rumble, but this time the whole building shook and the tower swayed,” said Wellseen. “I thought - earthquake! - we have little one every once in a while, but this felt like the New Madrid had finally woke its a** up. Either that or a truck plowed into the strip club next door again.”

Carl ran outside to see what was going on just in the nick of time. “The f***ing earth opened up, like that 2012 movie or some s***.” related Wellseen. “I wet myself running away.” A large sinkhole opened below the station, pulling the entire facility into the earth, where it caught on fire and exploded. 

No one else was in the station when it collapsed. That’s a good thing, because it was also struck by lightening several times as it went down.

“I’ll never play two women in a row again!” laughed Carl. “And I’d advise every other country station to take heed of this omen. It’s crazy.”

The strip club next door was unharmed.


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