Dec 14, 2021

Predicting 2022 in Mainstream Country Music



By Bobby Peacock

• Russell Dickerson revealed to actually be a deepfake

 Bobby continues to be the only person on the entire Internet not to like Lainey Wilson

 Luke Combs hits #1 with "Beer,” which is just him singing the word "beer" over and over again for four minutes

 Walker Hayes gets his second #1 with a cover of the "Chili's Baby Back Ribs" jingle

 Niko Moon runs crying to his mom when his next single fails to chart at all; claims radio PDs called him a poopyhead

 In an unprecedented move, Lauren Alaina records a duet with herself

 Kelsea Ballerini and HARDY propose to record a duet; plans canceled when they can't agree on which letters in the title should be capitalized, if any

 Jordan Davis buys dirt; realizes he can't find the one he can't live without; sells dirt

 Jason Aldean, Toby Keith, John Rich, Travis Tritt, and Aaron Lewis record a collab called "Red Voters with Blue Balls (Let's Go Brandon)"; song's lyric video gets deleted from YouTube for hate speech

 Brantley Gilbert actually does release the worst country song of all time -- oh wait, he already did that with "Bottoms Up"

 All four members of Parmalee discovered working at the same Arby's in Nashville

 Man previously caught sporting public erection due to Turnpike reunion hospitalized for priapism

 Cole Swindell gets his first celeb endorsement: his own personal line of Miracle Whip

 In an even more unprecedented move, Morgan Wallen releases a cover of Western Flyer's "Cherokee Highway"

 Bobby makes another stupidly long"best of the decade" list largely composed of songs that neither Trailer nor any Farce the Music reader has ever heard before

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