.99 Reviews - Jake Owen: Barefoot Blue Jean Night

Jake Owen - Barefoot Blue Jean Night (Click to listen)

The People's Take

I don't know what the people's take is... my iTunes isn't working properly, but I can imagine 90% of the comments are as such "This is so great for summer riding with my boyfriend in his truck and going to softball games!!!" and the other 10% are either "First!" or "I hate country so this sucks."

My Take

I already know what's coming. It's late April so like taxes are due and Obama's ratings are down, it's time for Summer songs. I'm right. I can also guarantee "till morning light" or "till the break of dawn" will be sang in this song…. yep, there it is. Jake is doing it right and coming alive with the new girl in town out in the middle of ruralia.

How old is he? 30 or something? Is he really still hanging around at parties in the countryside? Jake, you do know it's legal for you to drink wherever you want to that's not a car? Grown folks have parties at their house… in the back yard. There are too many snakes at the riverside. Authenticity is not a requirement of radio country, so I should look past all these little things, but I just can't.

There is one nice line in this song: "we were shining like lighters in the dark in the middle of a rock show" and honestly, I like the beat. The "whooaaoh ohhs" are making me angry though. Ah hell, I'm feeling generous. This isn't horrible such as it is. There are banjos. Jake sounds interested, but the imagery is as far from unique as Jake's teeth aren't from whitener. "Never gonna grow up/never gonna slow down." You might wanna rethink that pardner… the mid-thirties will drain you of energy, I can promise you that. The hangovers aren't so bad anymore, but you'll have a lot more self-awareness of how stupid it is that you're three Jagerbombs into a Friday night and your jeans are biting into your side. Maybe that's just me.

Basically, this is middle of the road pop-country with a few nods to actual country, but it's catchy. A word of warning to those predisposed to living out songs: being barefoot on the riverbank at night is a good way to end up with poison ivy rashes, ticks and West Nile Virus. Have fun.

Total Value: .55/.99

The Checklist:

Church/God

Mama

Boots

Name Dropping

Dying Person

Jeans

County Fair

Lost Love

Dog

Love

Hometown/Country Pride

Kindly Advice

Truck

Whiskey

Beer

Life Affirmation

USA

Soldiers

Pop Sheen

Star Power

Spotting the Fakes

Since the dawn of Twitter...all those many months ago, there have been fake celebrity accounts. Most of the b.s. accounts were and still are bored people actually pretending to be such personalities as Taylor Swift or Perez Hilton or whoever, starting all sorts of rumors and generally confusing their fangirls and boys. Bored and boring. "Verified" accounts have mostly put an end to these dopes, thankfully.

Lately there has been a much more interesting trend of imposters just doing it to entertain their followers with dirty jokes, idiotic opinions and other general absurdity. These fakers make no pretense about their falsehood. In fact, most of them say so right in the user name.

Since this sort of jackassery is definitely right up FTM's alley, today we take a look at some of the doppelganger country singer accounts and let those of you who are Twitter users know who is and isn't worth your follow.

And as far as you know, none of these is run by me...

@notjakeowen

We start with probably the most buzzed about falsie. Fake Jake is subversive, egotistical and gleefully sexist. He also seems to be a Nashville insider. Possibly he's just done his research, but he knows an awful lot about uh, himself, and his Tweet subjects (he often pokes fun at other artists and songwriters) - enough to hit the really hot buttons. Jake Fauxens even interacts with some of the other artists on Twitter, tossing insults directly at them. Not for the easily offended (actually Twitter may not be for the easily offended in the first place), but worth a follow.

@notkennyrogers

Fake Jake's brother in barbs, Kenny Fauxgers is a caricature of the bearded balladeer, proclaiming his love for groupies and dissing contemporaries like Neil Diamond at every opportunity. Like Jake's, Kenny's head is also about 3 sizes too big, to hilarious effect. I'm not sure who's behind these two accounts, which seem joined at the hip since they only follow each other and have a similar style of humor. I'm perplexed that they only follow one other person each and still manage to have hundreds of followers, but I'm no Twitter expert ...obviously. Anyway, fake Kenny is extremely funny.

@notkennychesney

New to the faker game, not-Mr. Chesney has a bit of a split personality. At times he's all about the ladies; others, he's hinting at possible homosexuality. He stays current with what's happening in pop culture and is generally pretty effective with his humor. Worth a look, if not a follow.

@notchuckwicks

This one seems to have sprung up just after the previous entry, hinting that maybe the two are from the same author... or maybe just that there are a lot of fratboy-humor loving reactionaries with too much time on their hands. Fake Chuck is more consistently laughable than Chesney, while treading similar subject territory. Chuck is portrayed as a complete metrosexual who knows little about country music but a lot about fashion and style ...and other male country singers. It will be fun to see how this one develops.

@notsugarland

Another trend-follower that started up just this week. So far, not really all that funny and frequently vulgar, but there are hints that this account could be entertaining in the long run.

@hanksghost

The "former Hank Williams" doesn't say a whole lot and doesn't seem to be in it for laughs, except for the dark humor of his frequent "rolling over in my grave" Tweets. From time to time, ol' Hank recommends a country artist of today whom he grants his stamp of approval to. Interesting.

@john_rich

This guy says even less than Hank, but it's always funny. JR shows himself to be a drunk, self-important, horny hothead, much like... well, much like the real JR. Hopefully he'll start Tweeting more often.

Relative Size Chart #18

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Suggested new logos for country artists

FTM is always there for country stars. Here are some suggested new logos for come country singers and bands that we feel better represent them than their current artwork. Free of charge...you're welcome guys/girls! Click for a closer view.