Jun 27, 2010

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio July

Welcome to the dog days. Many of these songs are lazy to fit the lazy, hell-hot middle summer months. Not lazy in a pleasant, relaxed way... just lazy. Where's my hammock?

Click the links to hear the songs.


Undo It - Carrie Underwood
The lyrics in the chorus are kindergarten-esque, but the hook hooks me for some reason (yeah, I know... you either luh uh uh uh uv it or hate it). Sure, she's had some better written songs out in the past year, but this is the only one that's stuck with me. I like it.
B-

How he got to be that way? I'm guessing....dad is probably 5'7", mom is 5'1"... just a guess. As for the song, it's pretty standard "I'm rough around the edges" fare. It seems like a pretty weak choice for a single IMO. Album filler does not a #1 make.
C-

I'm In - Keith Urban
I'm glad Keith keeps cutting Radney Foster songs, but even if Radney was singing this, I'd be mildly entertained then yawn.
C

While You're Still Young - Montgomery Gentry
I like the message of the song - it's not glorifying being young - just the feeling of youth. The first two verses don't bring much new to the table, but the chorus is unexpectedly memorable melodically, if not lyrically. Verse 3 brings it home in an RV to happy effect. Better than I expected.
B+

All About Tonight - Blake Shelton
A mindless party song with a melody that doesn't really go anywhere. I like some mindless party songs. I like some songs with melodies that aren't that memorable. I don't like when these two aspects intersect. I like Blake and anybody who has covered The Black Crowes' "She Talks to Angels" in concert and Chris Knight's "It Ain't Easy Being Me" on an album has a lot of money in the bank with me, but this song is a bounced check.
D+
Cool. I dig this a lot. If we can't get neo-traditional and alternative country played on country radio, songs with this amount of laid back edginess and freshness will work.
B+
If I Die Young - The Band Perry
WTF? A pretty, mildly authentic sounding country song from The Band Perry, whose last single wouldn't have sounded out of place on a 90's dance floor? The token fiddle doesn't even sound that token. The Band Perry is almost forgiven for "Hip to My Heart" and their name. Almost.
B
Makes Me Go (La La) - Williams Riley
Nonsense words can be used to great effect at times. Not this time. It sounds pretty, but I won't be listening to this song again for fear the la la's might get stuck in my head. What's the deal with all the up-and-coming bands who sound like Restless Heart (the live version on the link doesn't, but the single cut does)?
C
Keep the Change - Darryl Worley
Despite the fact that I see both sides politically, I can't review this song objectively, even on a snap judgment. Basically, it's fairly catchy, I appreciate the combativeness of the hook, and this is waaaaaay smarter than his last foray into politics. I don't like it that much, but I can't bring myself to loathe it.
C+
Just Fine - Bomshel
Not bad. Just fine, in fact. Just go ahead and play 'em, country radio. They're obviously not going to stop sending you singles, and this one's better than, say, the last 3 Rascal Flatts songs, so make some room on your 20 song playlist.
C
Summer Thing - Troy Olsen
Which Apple exec does this guy have pictures of in a compromising position? His EP with this song on it has been featured on iTunes for weeks in one of those rotating marquis at the top of the country page... and I've never even heard of him. I'm flat out sick of summer songs, so even if this is the greatest, most original awe-inspiring ode to the warmer months (it isn't), I don't want to hear it again.
D+
That's Love Y'all - Bridgette Tatum
Her voice has too much soul for this to get played on Fearchannel. Pretty good song, gospel flavored, easy going and engaging. This is a summer song... and it doesn't even mention summer. Take note, songwriters.
B
Beautiful Girl - Lathan Moore
Hmm. A country song that doesn't beat you over the head with word play. A simple title/hook that's surrounded by a decent enough idea sung by a nearly memorable voice. It doesn't have a chance in hell.
B-
Satisfied - Jewel
I like Jewel. She has a cool voice, seems like a nice lady and is easy on the eyes. Some of her early releases feature some great songs. So far, I'm not enamored with her jaunt into country music. This song is meandering and forgettable.
C-

An aside: It's a real beatdown on the ears and mind to listen to these comps all at one time. This is probably what it feels like to be a stay home mom or dad who only speaks to small children all week - the adult thought processes and conversational abilities melt away.

B+
Not that Far Away - Jennette McCurdy
Jenn's second (third?) attempt at country airplay isn't bad. She has a pretty nice voice, better than another famous teen who will go nameless, but has the initials T.S. Sorry Sam, this song is boring. You could probably go somewhere with a better tune.
D
Boggy Creek - Boggy Creek
No. If the singer sounds like a poor man's Luke Bryan, the song is plain destitute. My snark tank is dry at this point.
FFFFF (sorry, key got stuck)
Don't Cuss the Fiddle - Keller & the Keels
Neat. A little bluegrass interlude. Like this a lot.
B+
Redneck Riviera - Jim Van Fleet
Back to the mindless. This is an example of a shallow song I kinda enjoy, however. It's catchier than All About Tonight and on about the same level intellectually. Nothing wrong with a fun party song and boy does the redneck riviera need some fun right about now.
C+
Doggonest Feelin' - Jeremy Parsons
Sounds like something you'd hear on Boot Liquor radio. Easy going old-timey country blues. I'm glad people are still making this kind of music, even if you'll never hear it played between Zac Brown Band and Eric Church - unless you're listening over my shoulder when I have my iTunes on shuffle (stop it, that's creeping me out!).
B
Nobody Knows - Coldwater Canyon Band
Inexplicable D-List artist submission of the month. There's some level of enjoyment to be had in the harmonies here, but little else. To be fair though, I'd much rather hear this than, say "Crazy Town," or similar crap from A-Listers.
C-


If you've made it this far, I salute you and pray for you. See you next month!

Jun 25, 2010

YouTube Gems: Chris Knight

Here's Chris Knight recorded live at Music Fog with "Heart of Stone." If you don't like this guy... you better have a damn good reason.

Jun 24, 2010

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #39

Professionally associate yourself with minorities, the physically challenged and the economically disadvantaged because when they succeed, you succeed and you don't look racist and discriminatory to the general public for the fact that you associated with their downtrodden asses in the first place. Just don't hang out with them after hours. They're a real leg repellant.



Not actually written by John Rich.

Jun 23, 2010

.99 Reviews - Soulja Boy "Pretty Boy Swag"




Soulja Boy Tell'em @souljaboy
"Pretty Boy Swag"

The People's Take: (iTunes Reviews)

Hold up h8ters (jelous a bit??)
(5 Stars)
Ok this new album Dre is gonna nail it big time he has listend to you haters and now he's rapping buy this now I say 2milli is gonna kill everyone of y'all next single that's gonna come out is "do it big" kills everything on this track too so shut the F** up about he's not a rapper go hug a tree or sumthin cus this is 2010 right here and he's killing it. From were he came from crank that soulja boy to this it's pretty Much beast right here people!! BUY IT
-CelticsGoinALLThaWAY

haters-_-
(5 Stars)
all you haters should be ashamed of yourself. If you don't like it go listen to something else you racist no lifes!!! Go put in a gay rock album or something. leave soulja boy alone u make me sick.

PRETTY BOY SWAG is a good song if you don't like it don't click on it and waste valuable time trying to generate negative energy. no life racist.
-SODMG, Inc.

OMG SOULJA BOY OMGOMGOMG no
(1 Star)
this song is garbage. Sorry for being so nice about it, too. His 'flow' is essentially like a speech disorder which hinders him from making any sense whatsoever.
-Salstheman

Ugly Boy Swag
(1 Star)
Worst rapper ever, dead or alive.
-Gangsta@$$Boi


My Take:
Listen here (if you dare): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8growuncz0
Before I'm called out as unqualified to review a rap song, while it's true I've never officially reviewed a hip-hop song, I'm a fan of good hip-hop. I like Jay-Z, K'naan, Nas, Game, old Snoop, OutKast, Mos Def, Dr. Dre, Beastie Boys, Public Enemy, 2Pac, Run DMC, Nappy Roots, Eminem, Tech 9ne, Krizz Kaliko, Ice Cube, Notorious BIG, Jedi Mind Tricks, Common, NWA, Eazy E, Cypress Hill and countless others. I think that makes me as qualified as anybody else without a job at Vibe, a music history or journalism degree. On to the review.
-------------

This alleged rap song begins with breaking glass then a ring tone-ish beep. That's par for the course with Soulja Boy, who is frequently called a ring-tone rapper by his haters. He goes to great lengths to prove them right with this hook-less drone of a hip-hop track that should have been left on the cutting room floor of even the most quickly tossed off mixtape. The "chorus" (which eats up a good 75% of the song) is an overly repetitive breathy recitation of self aggrandizement entirely lacking of memorable rhymes or even the scant shred of artistic worth. The beat would make Al Gore very happy though, it's recycled, and the beat it recycles is also recycled ∞.

There's nary a line in the song that elicits even the presumption that, one day, Mr. Tell'em might turn a clever phrase. He's got swag, girls are on his dick, they scream his name. Yep. For the explicit version, he curses at the calculated moments that can easily be scrubbed from the radio version. Dre (his name, and the name of his forthcoming million-selling drink coaster) is a product, plain and simple. He has a cult following of teen girls, disaffected suburban youth (read: whangstas) and possibly a few people with actual street cred who follow his Tweets with disturbing stalkerishness. He runs a veritable empire with his gaming website and all the merchandise related to him and his SODMG organization. Apparently, he's a good businessman or hype man. He is not a good rapper.

I'll bite a phrase from one of the iTunes reviewers: "His 'flow' is essentially like a speech disorder." That's not h8er hyperbole. Soulja Boy rides the rhythms like Willie Nelson on a weed bender. And his voice: nearly any drunk guy at the club or the karaoke bar this weekend could easily replicate this flow. Seriously. How he got into the "rap game" is beyond me. I won't say I could rap better - I have the rhythm of a blogger - but I bet most of you could. Seriously.

"Pretty Boy Swag" is chaff. Congratulations Soulja Boy Tell'em. You suck worse than Bucky Covington.

Total Value: .00/.99



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