Farce the Music: Adele

Showing posts with label Adele. Show all posts

Jan 11, 2016

If Florida-Georgia Line Had Written Adele's "Hello"

Hey Girl

(Parody of Adele's "Hello")

Hey girl, it's me

I was wondering if your sexy little self would like a drink

You look so good in them jeans

They say wine's fine but liquor's quicker

I'm on you like a sticker

Hey girl, is you heard me

I'm so drunk and horny dreaming of your tan lines touching me

Girl you're a stunner so please

Put your bottom in my jacked Raptor with the custom bench seat

Just leave your jealous friends behind us

And your boyfriend, Kyle

Hey girl let's go take a ride

I'll show you all my country side

Won't call you, I'm sorry, but it's just a little fun

And if you call me, I won't ever be home

Hey girl, you're so damn fine

At least an 8 if not a nine

I bet your boyfriend drives an electric car

But he don't matter, I'm country, don't it just rev you up like a Ford

Hey girl, 'sup with you

If you're having second thoughts, stop thinking, I can tell you're thirsty

Here, have one more swig

We'll take a trip 8 miles out of this town and get our bodies slappin'

Ain't no secret that the both of us

Let our standards slide

Hey girl let's go take a ride

I'll show you all my country side

Won't call you, I'm sorry, but it's just a little fun

And if you call me, I won't ever be home

Hey girl, you're so damn fine

At least an 8 if not a nine

I bet your boyfriend drives an electric car

But he don't matter, I'm country, don't it just rev you up like a Ford

[x4:]

(High Life, High Life

Fireball Fireball)

All night long

Hey girl let's go take a ride

I'll show you all my country side

Won't call you, I'm sorry, but it's just a little fun

And if you call me, I won't ever be home

Hey girl, you're so damn fine

At least an 8 if not a nine

I bet your boyfriend drives an electric car

But he don't matter, I'm country, don't it just rev you up like a Ford

Jan 7, 2016

Really Dumb Music Reviews: Jan. '16

These are all real reviews from a couple of popular sites for purchasing music.

Luke Bryan

Sturgill Simpson - Metamodern Sounds in Country Music

Sam Hunt - Montevallo

Kacey Musgraves

Adele - 25

Zac Brown Band - Jeckyl & Hyde

Chris Stapleton - Traveller

Dec 28, 2015

FTM's Top Songs of 2015: 21-40

I'll post my Top 20 songs of 2015 tomorrow, but here are 20 more songs that moved me in 2015. The depth of talent (mostly, but not entirely outside the mainstream) is staggering in recent years, so it's always difficult to narrow songs and albums down to a ranking at the end of the year, but I felt like these all needed some recognition.

In no particular order, though my favorites are generally towards the top of the list.

Jason Isbell - 24 Frames

American Aquarium - End Over End

Courtney Patton - So This Is Life

The Lone Bellow - Diners

Faith No More - Matador

Clutch - X-Ray Visions

Sam Outlaw - Ghost Town

Houndmouth - Sedona

Kacey Musgraves - Late to the Party

Lucero - Went Looking for Warren Zevon's Los Angeles

Alan Jackson - The One You're Waiting On

Kurt Vile - Pretty Pimpin'

Red Shahan - Black Veins Pt. 1

Adele - Hello

High on Fire - The Cave

The Yawpers - 3 A.M.

Gretchen Peters - The Cure for the Pain

Vince Staples - Norf Norf

Eric Church - Knives of New Orleans

Dawes - All Your Favorite Bands

Nov 21, 2015

Saturday Night Music: Adele Covers Stapleton

Aug 29, 2014

YouTube Gems: Adele Covers The Steeldrivers

Jan 1, 2012

FTM Best Albums of 2011: Kelcy's Ten

by Kelcy Salisbury

Well, it's that time of year. Time to look back at what happened, what we wish had happened, what didn't happen and most importantly, who released the best music. So here, just in time for your Christmas shopping, are the best albums that I heard amongst the many that were released this year. Keep in mind, that these will lean toward my favorite types of music (although my taste is fairly eclectic) and as a "real" person with a full time job and a life that doesn't involve occupying things, I didn't get to listen to every new album that came out, let alone all the ones I wanted to hear. So if your favorite new album isn't on here it doesn't mean I hate it (although I probably do, especially if you're a Deer Tick fan), I may just have been busy trying to keep my lights on.

Without further ado: The list, first the honorable mentions, followed by my personal top ten.

Honorable Mention:

Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit: Here We Rest

This album will top many lists, and while I liked it and found it compelling in places it just didn't grab my attention and hold it throughout the way some of his earlier work (Sirens Of The Ditch) did. Still a worthy effort. Don't miss these tracks: Codeine, Passing Through, Alabama Pines and Go It Alone.

Mike Ethan Messick: The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday

Could have easily made the top ten, but something had to get cut, and unfortunately for Mike, this album was one of the cuts. It's a solid country album with some incredibly clever songwriting. Don't miss Oldsmobile, Fools of Us All, Walking Into Walls and Nothing Left To Lose.

Robert Earl Keen: Ready For Confetti

Much like Isbell's offering, I loved parts of this album but it didn't grab me as a body of work the way some of his earlier albums did. Can't miss songs are I Gotta Go, The Road Goes On and On, and Play A Train Song.

My Morning Jacket: Circuital

If I'd found this album a little earlier in the year it probably would have made the top ten. I find something more to like on every listen. The thing that makes this album stand out from the rest of the "honorable mentions" is that I felt like it needed and deserved to be heard as a whole. Perfectly laid out and beautifully arranged.

And now the top ten. The order of these (especially the top 5) could change depending on the day and my mood but each and every one of these albums can stand on it's own merits and would be a worthy addition to any collection.

10. James Blake: Self Titled

This one may come as a surprise to some, but as I said before, my taste is fairly eclectic. I never expected to like this album and didn't even give it a thought until it was suggested to me by a friend whose taste I trust (you know who you are, I hope you're not upset it didn't get a higher position). James brings a ton of vocal ability to the table, pair that with solid songwriting and great instrumental work and you have one fine album.

9. Everlast: Songs of The Ungrateful Living

I already reviewed this album in an earlier piece and I won't rehash that. I'll simply say that this album does a great job of combining working class concerns and social consciousness with hip hop beats with blues and country elements.

8. Adele: 21

Anyone that has the kind of pipes this girl possesses stands a decent chance of making a good song or two. This young lady has made an entire album of great songs. Her vocals are clearly the highlight, but the instrumentation is solid throughout. The only reason this offering didn't land higher on my list is that the songs are (thematically anyway) somewhat interchangable. As someone (I don't recall who) stated on Twitter, Adele's ex-boyfriend deserves a Grammy for inspiring this album.

7. Cody Canada & The Departed: This Is Indian Land

The album that Cody had always wanted to make finally got made, and what an all star cast of musicians made it! Every song is a cover of a song by an Oklahoma born or based songwriter but The Departed make these songs their own. If I hadn't known better I'd have been easily convinced that these songs were originals. From the opening snippet of a voicemail from the legendary Randy Crouch to the rollicking take on Stand Up, this album is a pure slice of heavenly heartland rock n roll.

6. Micky & The Motorcars: Raise My Glass

The lesser known half of the Braun Brothers have been steadily working towards this album and it's been well worth the work and the wait. The whole thing hangs together thematically from the heartbreaking story of the title track to the rocking Saint Lucy's Eyes. There is a story here and it takes all 11 tracks to tell.

5. Ryan Adams: Ashes and Fire

Adams finally returns with an album worthy of his prodigous talent and reputation. Sobriety and a stable personal life have been good to the former Whiskeytown frontman and it shows. His songwriting is better than ever. His vocals are a perfect fit for the music and the music is pretty excellent. I had pretty well written off Adams as a waste of talent over the past few years but he proved me wrong in a big way and I'm glad for it.

4. Stoney LaRue: Velvet

The "Red Dirt Chinese Democracy" is here and it was worth the long wait. Stoney's sound has evolved over the years. Layers of lush instrumentation wash over his pitch-perfect vocals. Much credit is due to the influence of Mando Saenz who co-wrote the majority of the album but at the end of the day it is Stoney's name on the finished product and what a finished product it is.

3. Amanda Shires: Carrying Lightning

Perhaps best known as Jason Isbell's girlfriend, Ms Shires deserves to be known as one of the finest musicians and songwriters on the planet. Elements of folk and bluegrass permeate this outstanding album. One listen to When You Need A Train It Never Comes and you'll be hooked.

2. Jason Boland & The Stragglers: Rancho Alto

The only criticism I heard of this album was that it was traditional country that didn't break new ground. In today's world, truly traditional country music is ground breaking in itself, so I don't see the problem. What I heard was the best country songwriter on the planet today providing socially conscious, thought provoking lyrics over the best traditional country sounding band you're ever likely to hear. Roger Ray's steel guitar work has only improved over the years, Brad Rice adds a new dimension to his drumming with heavy use of brushes instead of sticks, while Noah Jefferies and Jeremy Watkins provide outstanding fiddle work and Grant Tracy keeps the whole thing moving along with his bass work. This is simply the best offering yet from a band that never fails to deliver great country music for people who like country music.

1. The Damn Quails: Down The Hatch

It comes as no surprise to anyone who's read my prior writings that this album tops the list. There isn't much I can say about it I haven't already, so I'll just say that even after taking the time to seriously think about it and listen to tons of new music there was nothing I heard all year that grabbed and held my attention any more than this album. If you already own it, congratulations, and if you don't, do yourself a favor and buy it for yourself for a Christmas present.

Well, that's all for this year folks. I hope you enjoy the article and most of all I hope you enjoy the music.

Dec 29, 2011

FTM 101 Best Albums of 2011: 1-50

1. The Damn Quails - Down the Hatch

My tastes were more oriented towards roots-music this year than any in recent memory and The Damn Quails put out a stunning debut that satisfied my yearnings like no other. The unique voices of Bryon and Gabriel combine for divine harmonies and their writing is the class of contemporary bands that fall into the "red dirt" scene, or nearly any scene for that matter. There isn't a weak song on the offering and what's more, nearly every tune spent time lodged in my brain on replay at one point or another. Brilliant work, epic even. Best songs: All of them, but if you must have 1 or 2 …"Fool's Gold" and "Mary" always slay me.

2. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - Here We Rest

Wrapped around the undeniable song of the year, "Codeine," is an album that more than pulls its own weight. Isbell fans may have hoped for something louder, but what they got was an artist-defining gem of a southern rock and soul record. Strong lyrics, excellent musicianship and plenty of easy-to-love melodies make this an album most anyone can appreciate, and true music lovers will adore. Best tracks: Codeine, Alabama Pines.

3. Hellbound Glory - Damaged Goods

The boys went and growed up on us. While Hellbound Glory is still infatuated with the darker subjects - addiction, dysfunctional families and death, in particular - their songwriting has improved a great deal since their last album. Not that it was ever bad. It's just that this time around the songs are better developed. The hooks are hookier and the subject matter comes across more naturally - it no longer feels like they're trying to shoehorn in every deviant behavior and curse word they can, just because they can. This is a band on the rise and with material this good, they may eventually break down the wall between alt and country. Best tracks: Better Hope You Die Young, Knocked Off the Horse.

4. Hayes Carll - KMAG YOYO

What else is there to say about Hayes? Rapier wit. Songwriting that recalls the greats of country and folk music. Memorable, affable voice. Actually has something to say. Just enough weirdness to keep him a little mysterious. Check, to all of those. This guy's the real deal; one of the few artists I'll buy an album from without hearing a single note. He never disappoints, never rests on his accolades. Thanks for another winner, Hayes! Best tracks: Another Like You, Chances Are.

5. Jimbo Mathus - Confederate Buddha

Jimbo calls this "catfish music," and I see no better way to describe it. Confederate Buddha is a melting pot for southern music - R&B, rock, folk, country and swamp soul, all mixed, matched and sifted out at different times on the record. Mathus' writing is in turns poetic, straight-forward or abstract, all expertly crafted and emotionally performed. Best tracks: Cling to the Roots, Aces and Eights.

6. Cary Anne Hearst - Lions and Lambs

Bonnie Raitt, Janis Joplin and Neko Case in a blender vocals. Transgendered Hayes Carll songwriting chops. That was weird. …this album is great.

Best tracks: Are You Ready to Die, Hell's Bells

7. Butch Walker and the Black Widows - The Spade

The in-demand producer of #6/former hair band member/former 90's alt-rock band, the jack - nay master - of all trades turns in this hook-driven smorgasbord of power pop, hard rock and jangly country-flavored rave-up goodness. This album alongside #8 would make a killer party soundtrack. Best tracks: Synthesizers, Suckerpunch

8. The Black Keys - El Camino

If this is a sellout, I wish every artist who's been accused of such had such a well-done betrayal of ideals. The Black Keys expand their blues rock sound to (bluesy) glam rock and power pop without missing a step or making it sound contrived. Sometimes you just need to turn off your inner-critic and enjoy. Fun, fun, fun! Best tracks: Gold on the Ceiling, Nova Baby

9. Adele - 21

Adele somehow straddles the huge divide between modern pop and "old people" soul music with great success. Even the songs that lack lyrically are made great by Adele's huge (but never diva-esque) voice. There hasn't been an artist in some time that brought together so many people in mutual admiration. This is a chick album that dudes can be unashamed to love. It's an old-school album that kids can groove to. Excellence. Best tracks - Rolling in the Deep, Someone Like You.

10. Ponderosa - Moonlight Revival

Sounding like the Black Crowes by way of Muscle Shoals, Ponderosa is a super-talented band of southern rockers who mostly steer clear of the clichés of the genre. Kalen Bush's lead vocals are stirring and the harmonies take their sound over the top. Ponderosa isn't reinventing the wheel here, but what they do, they do very well. Best tracks: Old Gin Road, Devil on My Shoulder.