If you're writing a serious song to make people think, think your ass again. Country radio does not have "thinkers" as a target audience. If you're writing a serious song that pretends to make people think, I've got some advice for you. Throw in some depressing crap about the world and the recession or whatever and bazinga! I mean, I'm not personally affected by this terrible economy that is entirely the fault of Barack Hussein Obama, but I know that most of you little people are. Well, I did have to raise the price on drinks at my bar for ugly chicks but I ate the cost on the hotties. Anyway, back to the song. Relate to your audience and then present them with a solution. JESUS! You don't have to explain any further, just say Jesus is the answer! Sad song turned all around with the glory of the Lord. If it's a sad love song, make sure you say it was the dude's fault that things went wrong, even though we know that's never true. Women are evil, but they hold the purse-strings for most pansy-ass fellas so you gotta make 'em think they're always right. I keep mine in line by laying down pipe in the sack like a champ. The hillbilly Jedi givin' her the force if you know what I'm saying. Stop thinking about me naked and go write a damn song!
*Not actually written by John Rich