Thanks to Adam Drake for the idea!
Jul 1, 2015
Jun 26, 2015
When I searched YouTube for dumb comments from Luke Bryan fans for this month's edition of the eCards, I was overwhelmed with stupidity and snowed under by ignorance. Thus, there will be 3 full posts of Luke Bryan Fan eCards this morning. These comments were all gleaned from a single YouTube video, the audio for Luke's new single "Kick the Dust Up." One comment has been edited, due to FTM's generally PG-13 rating, dammit.
Jun 22, 2015
My duties as a minister include visiting the sick and shut-in on a frequent basis. In my thousands of visits, I've occasionally witnessed (either accidentally or the caregiver/patient just didn't care) ostomy bags being changed out. The first time I saw that, I was quite disturbed. The 20th time, I was still skeeved out, but not shocked. That's pretty much how I feel about this abomination of a song entitled "Kick the Dust Up."
Over the course of the years, Trailer has had me review some truly terrible music, and like him, I've become desensitized to the point that it's hard to quantify how awful an awful song is. I know it's morally reprehensible. I know it sounds bad and does not honor the Lord. I know I'd rather listen to television ads about toe fungus than hear this again.
Little children, make sure no one deceives you - 1 John 3:7.
Sometimes the Lord speaks to the kids because the adults are too stupid and set in their patterns of sin to get through to. I say to you young folks who are susceptible to the evils of mainstream country music: flee from this vulgarity and the culture that promotes and cannot move beyond the "Fireball whiskey" and the "hole in her jeans her mama didn't fix" and the "getting some nookie on the bed liner" lifestyle. These grown adult men are leading you astray for they care not for your souls. They lie to you! Do you really think 39 year old men are having parties in trespassed pastures and hiding from the cops and hitting on "hoochies?"
Nay! Nay! Nay! These people are cashing checks, yelling at their nannies, or planning their next vacation paid for with ill-gotten money. Greed! Greed guides their writing hand, their chord plucking fingers. Greed! Art is supposed to be about truth! Even when I disagree with some hooligan's art, I can respect it more when it is real.
"Fill your cup up" does not refer to sweet tea. "Back it on up" does not refer to a pickup truck - it is about a woman's derriere! Fowl! Foul!
Late in this song, Mr. Bryan asks the listener to follow him beneath the bridge to "kick it." I fear beneath this bridge will be nudity, sexual immorality, alcohol and drug abuse, and possible necking! Flee this lie! Flee this lifestyle!
Turn to the ways of righteousness before it is too late. It's not too late for you, youth of America!
This song gets an F!
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 12, 2015
I'll read the lyrics and review those, but even that might make me puke everywhere, lol. At first he's singing (or rapping, probably!) about farmers. If I was a farmer, I would put my boot so far up Luke's pansy ass, he'd be tasting steel toe when he eats his Greek yogurt every day. Later on he says he's "burning up a back roads song"… yeah, probably listening to Rupaul or Iggy Ass-ail-ya, or himself. He probably never even heard of Jerry Reed! Each to thier own I guess!
Oh dear God, what is this rhyming 'up' with 'up' shit? I bet it took 15 dudes with goatees and backwards flat-brim hats jerking off in an office to come up with this crap. If Hank Sr. could hear this mess these pretty boys have made out of his beloved country music, he would mix pills and liquor again!
Later on, Puke Bryant sings about drinking a jar of "clear." Yeah right! If he even took a whiff of some real moonshine, he'd pass out like a little girl. Anyone every plays Luke what ever her name is in my truck, I'll set it on fire with them in it and roll it into a culvert. I would literally comment murder, it's that damn bad!
So, in summery, you would be better off neutering yourself then listening to "Kick the Dust Up."
May 29, 2015
But FTM will sell you shirts like this!
Just click here for these and many other hatin' t-shirts!
May 27, 2015
When this song really kicks in and kicks ass, he's singing bout tractors and Z71's dawg. We turn this corn feel into a party! Hell yea! Tear it up up! I like that little high hat tap tap tap tap after the chorus. Then he sing about a jar full of clear. Hell yea! You know what he's talking about their if your really country, lol. Luke said he new this song was good be cause his little boys singed along to it and I'm thinking his kids are really smart be cause this song is like for older people to party too!
The only thang I don't like about this song is wear it has a gitar playing something sound like what i here when I go in the gas station the Indian guy owns to buy Zig Zags. It makes me think I smell patch-oooli and Im like craving that sticky icky you know what I'm saying lol.
But other then that, this song pretty much is legendary and makes Luke Brine even more a big star than he was before. So, if you asked me, You should buy it or steel it from one of those ring tone sites. It's that damn good son!
May 22, 2015
May 21, 2015
May 20, 2015
These are comments from Luke Bryan fans about his new single, the wretched and rachet "Kick the Dust Up." It's as if they don't even care about the music. Imagine that!